How to Speak English with More Confidence: Four Buttons, Three Spare Lines and a Dog Story
Paul is holding a paper plate with a burger on it. Three people at his neighbor’s barbecue are waiting for the end of a funny story about his dog, Biscuit. He gets to the word he needs and it is gone: “I was still holding his… his…” (02:06). Emily offers the answer, leash, but Paul says that at the barbecue the word “just wasn’t there.” So he laughs a little, says “never mind,” and goes to the kitchen for some water.
The story was good. The English was almost all there. What stopped him was three seconds of feeling that everyone was looking at him. This episode is for A1 and A2 learners who understand a lot of English but go quiet when it is their turn. Paul and Emily look at why that happens, what confidence really is, how your body can help your voice, and what to say when a word runs away.
Watch the episode: Watch the episode on YouTube
Time: about 33 minutes to listen, and about 30 minutes for the practice below.
Before you listen: think of one moment when you stopped in the middle of a sentence in English. What was missing, a word or the courage? Keep that moment in mind. At the end of the page you will tell a short story about it, and you will finish it.
How to use this page: listen once without stopping. Then read the key idea and the tables, and do the practice. The full transcript is at the bottom.
What You’ll Learn
- The line of the day: Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
- Three reasons we go quiet: the fear of being judged, comparing, and waiting for perfect
- What confidence, shy, nervous and self-conscious really mean, and why they are not the same thing
- Reframing: change I’m nervous into I’m excited
- Four buttons on your “remote control”: how you sit, eye contact, speed and volume
- The spotlight effect, and why small mistakes wash away like footprints on a beach
- Three spare lines for a forgotten word: How do you say…?, It’s the thing you use to…, What I mean is…
- Three rescue lines: Sorry, I lost my words., Could you speak more slowly?, Sorry, can you say that again?
- A quiz with pauses, a role-play of the barbecue, and your own 30-second story
Key Idea
You do not need perfect English. You need to finish the sentence.
Paul says it near the start (01:15), and it comes back three more times. The reason is in what he tells Emily after the barbecue (03:01): “I knew every word except one. Park, cat, ran, pond. All there.” Emily sums it up: “So the English was there. The courage wasn’t there.”
So the episode does not teach you more vocabulary to be brave with. It gives you three small tools for the moment when the sentence stops.
| Tool | What it fixes | The English you hear |
|---|---|---|
| Body and voice | The feeling that you are small and everyone is watching | Sit tall, look at a kind face, go slowly, turn your volume up by one |
| Spare lines | One word disappears in the middle of a sentence | How do you say…? It’s the thing you use to… What I mean is… |
| Rescue lines | Your mind stops, or the other person speaks too fast | Sorry, I lost my words. Could you speak more slowly? Sorry, can you say that again? |
Paul’s Barbecue Story (01:28)
Paul tells it as a short scene, and it is a good model for your own stories. He gives a day, a time and a place, and then the people.
| What happened | The English you hear |
|---|---|
| When and where | It was last summer, on a Saturday, at about six in the evening. |
| The place | My neighbor had a barbecue in her garden. Maybe fifteen people were there. |
| The question | One of them asked, do you have any pets? |
| The story starts | Last week, Biscuit saw a cat in the park. He ran after it, and I was still holding his… his… |
| The word is gone | Three faces were looking at me. They were waiting for the end. |
| What he did | I laughed a little and said, never mind. |
| The sad part | Biscuit pulled me into a little pond. |
Emily asks the question that gives the episode its direction (02:57): “Was the problem really your English?” Paul answers that it was the three seconds. At the end of the episode (21:34), they replay the scene with the new tools, and this time Paul says “Sorry, I lost my words. It’s the thing you use to walk a dog,” Emily says “A leash?”, and the story ends in the pond.
Why We Go Quiet: Three Reasons (03:24)
Paul gives three reasons and Emily adds a personal picture to each one.
| Reason | What it sounds like in your head | The picture in the episode |
|---|---|---|
| Fear of being judged | She’s bad at English. He made a mistake. | Everyone is a movie star in their own movie, and you only have a small part (04:07) |
| Comparing | Someone speaks so fast and so smoothly, and I feel tiny. | A friend posts one beautiful photo. You do not see the fifty bad ones (05:14) |
| Waiting for perfect | I’ll speak when my English is ready. | Standing on the shore, testing the water with one toe, until summer is over (06:14) |
Each reason has a short line to take home. For the first, Everyone is busy with their own movie. For the second, I’m better than last month. For the third, I don’t need to be ready. I can start small. (06:44). At the barbecue, Paul says, the three people “were thinking about their burgers.”
Emily’s version of the second reason is a good one to notice. Last month, a woman in her class gave a short talk and did not stop once. Paul does not tell Emily that her English is just as good. He tells her that she is comparing her messy photos with someone else’s best photo. The fix is to compare yourself only with the you of last month.
Confidence, Shy, Nervous, Self-Conscious (07:05)
Four words that learners often mix up. The episode takes them one at a time and attaches each to a small story.
| Word | What it means in the episode | The story |
|---|---|---|
| confidence | ”Believing you can do something, even with some fear inside.” | An umbrella in the rain: it does not stop the rain, but you can walk to the bus stop (07:27) |
| shy | Quiet and careful around people, especially new people. Not the same as having no confidence. | Emily at nine, in music class, singing a song she knew well so quietly that nobody heard her (08:03) |
| nervous | The shaky feeling before something important. Fast heart, cold hands, a higher voice. | Emily before her first team meeting |
| self-conscious | Thinking about yourself too much: how do I look, how do I sound? | Emily and her accent (10:03) |
Two of these deserve a second look.
Confidence is not sunny weather. Emily used to think confident people never feel scared. Paul says the fear can stay; you just keep walking. That is the whole point of the umbrella.
Reframing (09:28). Paul has noticed that when he is excited, his body feels almost the same as when he is nervous. So he changes the name of the feeling: I’m not nervous. I’m excited. Emily tries it with I’m not scared. I’m excited., finds it a little silly, and says she feels lighter. Paul’s answer is worth keeping: “Silly is okay. Silly is better than silent.”
On self-consciousness, Paul says an accent is “part of you, like your handwriting,” and the listener only needs to understand your idea. “Put your attention there.”
Your Body and Voice: Four Buttons (10:29)
Emily’s first team meeting was on a Monday, at nine. There were eight people at a long table. She sat at the end, near the door, looked down at her shoes, and spoke so quietly that two people said “Sorry?” and her manager asked her to speak up. She had written good ideas in her notebook the night before.
Paul’s idea is that “your body is like a remote control for your mood,” with four buttons (11:29).
| Button | What to do | Emily’s problem |
|---|---|---|
| 1. How you sit or stand (11:37) | Sit up straight. Open your shoulders. | Small body, small voice |
| 2. Eye contact (12:00) | Look at the person’s face, not the floor. No long stare. | A straight look feels too strong. A group is harder than one person. |
| 3. Speed (12:38) | Slow and clear is easier to understand and gives your brain time. | ”I want to finish quickly and escape.” |
| 4. Volume (13:02) | Turn it up by one step, like a TV. Not shouting. | ”Because I was talking to my shoes.” |
Paul adds an easy way into button two for a group: say your first sentence to one kind face, and then share it with everyone. Emily says “A friend first, then the group.”
Then they practice with you (13:31): sit up, take one slow breath, look at something in front of you, and say, slowly and a little loud, “Hello, my name is…” and your name. Emily’s honest reaction afterward is “a bit strange. But my voice sounded more like me.” In her meetings now she sits in the middle of the table, not near the door.
The line from this part is useful in real meetings: Sorry, let me say that again, more slowly.
Mistakes and the Spotlight Effect (14:38)
Back to the barbecue. On Monday, Paul’s neighbor asked how Biscuit was. She did not say, “You forgot the word leash.” Emily gives the name of this feeling (15:00): the spotlight effect. A spotlight is a strong light on a stage that follows one actor. You feel the light on you, but people are not watching that closely.
Paul gives a second picture: a small mistake is like a footprint on a beach. A wave comes and the footprint is gone. People remember your idea.
His practical advice is short sentences (15:38). At the barbecue he could have said: My dog saw a cat. He ran. I fell in a pond. Each short sentence that works is a small win, and each small win makes the next sentence easier.
Spare Sentences for Forgotten Words (16:14)
Emily asks what to do when a word really disappears. Paul answers with a spare tire: you do not use it every day, but you are happy it is in the trunk. Spare sentences work the same way.
| Spare line | When to use it | Example from the episode |
|---|---|---|
| How do you say…? (16:41) | You need a word and you can ask for help | How do you say… the thing on a dog’s neck? |
| It’s the thing you use to… (17:01) | You can describe it by what it does | It’s the thing you use to walk a dog. (Emily guesses: Leash!) |
| What I mean is… (18:00) | Your first sentence came out wrong | The meeting was cold. Sorry, what I mean is, the room was cold. |
Paul and Emily test the second line with two more objects. Emily says, “It’s the thing you use to open a door” and Paul answers “A key.” Then Emily: “It’s the thing you use to cut bread.” Paul: “A knife.” Each time the listener finds the word, and the speaker keeps talking.
There is also a repair that Emily made in her own English (17:28). She used to say, I don’t know English word. It was true, but the conversation stopped, because the other person did not know how to help. Now she says Sorry, how do you say this in English? and then describes the thing. “It opens the door again, and the other person can help me.”
In the short example (18:37), Emily puts all three together while talking about her weekend: “On Sunday, I bought a new… hmm, how do you say… it’s the thing you use to make coffee at home.” Paul says “A coffee machine?” and Emily says “Yes! A coffee machine. What I mean is, a small one, for one cup.” Then the story goes on: where she put it, and how her mornings start now.
When Your Mind Stops: Rescue Lines (19:50)
First, a plan to practice (19:06): talk to yourself in English on the way to the bus stop, five minutes a day. Once a week, record yourself for one minute. After a month, listen to the first one. After that, talk with real people, starting with a kind one. Emily calls that a safe space: a place where you feel okay making mistakes.
For the scary moment when your head is empty, Paul uses the remote control again (20:02): press pause (stop for a moment and let your shoulders drop), look up from the floor to find the other person’s face, and say a rescue line.
| Rescue line | Use it when | Emily’s story |
|---|---|---|
| Sorry, I lost my words. | Your mind goes blank | ”I like that it’s honest” |
| Could you speak more slowly? | Someone speaks too fast | A hotel phone call last winter, when she only understood the word Friday |
| Sorry, can you say that again? | You did not catch it |
The hotel call is a good model of how this goes (20:52). Emily said, “Could you speak more slowly, please?” The man said, “Of course, sorry.” And “then everything was easy.” Paul’s comment: “He wasn’t angry at all. He just didn’t know you needed it.”
Fake It Till You Make It (22:20)
Emily asks Paul about this famous phrase and gives her own reading: you act brave before you feel brave, and slowly the feeling comes. Paul adds a picture: it is like trying on a new coat. “At first it feels strange. After a while, it’s yours.” He also says to celebrate a little: a cup of tea, a tick on your calendar, or just “well done” to yourself.
Word Review with Our Stories (23:17)
The word review ties eleven items to the two stories. You do not need all of them. The episode suggests you pick two that feel useful.
| Word or phrase | The story that goes with it |
|---|---|
| confidence | Missing for three seconds at the barbecue |
| nervous | Three faces looking, and a fast heart |
| shy | Emily in music class |
| self-conscious | Emily and her accent |
| body language | Emily at the end of the table, sitting small |
| eye contact | Looking at the face, not at your shoes |
| the spotlight effect | Nobody saw the missing word |
| reframing | I’m not scared. I’m excited. |
| safe space | A place where mistakes feel okay |
| small wins | Biscuit saw a cat. He ran. Paul fell in a pond. |
| fake it till you make it | Trying on a new coat |
Useful Language from the Episode
Spare lines (use them when a word runs away)
- How do you say…?
- It’s the thing you use to…
- What I mean is…
- Sorry, how do you say this in English?
Rescue lines
- Sorry, I lost my words.
- Could you speak more slowly?
- Sorry, can you say that again?
- Sorry, let me say that again, more slowly.
Small lines to say to yourself
- Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
- Everyone is busy with their own movie.
- I’m better than last month.
- I don’t need to be ready. I can start small.
- I’m not scared. I’m excited.
Mistake and Repair
One mistake comes from the episode itself (17:28), and it is a very common one at A1 and A2.
| What learners often say | What closes the door | What opens it |
|---|---|---|
| I don’t know English word. | The sentence is true, but the other person does not know what to do next | Sorry, how do you say this in English? and then describe it |
The word English is not the problem. The problem is that the sentence ends the conversation. The new version asks for help and gives the listener something to work with.
Practice with the Episode
1. Listen for details
Listen again and answer. The answers are below.
- What did Paul’s neighbor have in her garden that evening?
- What was the word Paul could not find?
- What did Emily’s manager say to her at the first team meeting?
- What are the four buttons on the remote control?
- Which line does Emily use on the phone when someone speaks too fast?
Answers
- A barbecue. Maybe fifteen people were there.
- Leash.
- “Can you speak up a little?”
- How you sit or stand, eye contact, speed, and volume.
- Could you speak more slowly, please?
2. Say it out loud
Say each line three times, first slowly, then at normal speed. Stand up if you can, and keep your shoulders open.
- Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
- It’s the thing you use to… (finish it with an object in your room)
- Sorry, I lost my words.
- Sorry, let me say that again, more slowly.
3. Quick quiz
Paul and Emily pause after each question. Pause the video, answer, then check.
- A shop assistant talks very fast. What can you say?
- You forget the word for the thing you use to cut paper. What can you say?
- Your heart is fast before a talk tomorrow. What can you tell yourself?
- You are in a meeting, sitting small and speaking quietly. What can you change?
Answers from the episode
- Could you speak more slowly?
- It’s the thing you use to cut paper. (The other person will probably say scissors.)
- I’m not scared. I’m excited.
- Sit up, open your shoulders, look at a kind face, and turn your volume up by one.
4. Role-play: you are Paul (27:42)
Emily plays the neighbor and asks the questions. Pause after each one and answer, then listen to Paul’s example.
| Emily asks | Paul’s example |
|---|---|
| Do you have any pets? | Yes, I have a dog. His name is Biscuit. |
| Is he a good dog? | He’s sweet. But last week, he saw a cat in the park. |
| What happened? | Sorry, I lost my words. It’s the thing you use to walk a dog. A leash! He pulled the leash and ran. |
| (faster) Did you catch him, or did he run all the way home? | Sorry, could you speak more slowly? |
| Did you catch him? | No. He pulled me into a pond. I was wet from head to toe. |
5. Your 30-second story (29:24)
The episode gives five short parts: where you were, what happened, the word you forgot, your spare line, and the ending. Emily’s example is a supermarket on a Tuesday evening, a kitchen item whose name she forgot, and a man who showed her the shelf. Paul’s is shorter: a train station, a forgotten word, and a woman who answered “a travel card.”
Think of something small from your week and fill in:
- I was at ______ on ______.
- I wanted ______, but I forgot the word.
- So I said, ______. (choose a spare line)
- The person said ______.
- And then ______.
Say it once. Then say it again with one more detail: a day, a time, or a place. If you finished the story, even with mistakes, that is a small win.
Your small action (31:37)
Stand in front of a mirror for one minute. Tell a tiny story about your day. Use It’s the thing you use to… one time, and do not stop in the middle. Then write in the comments the word you often forget, described with It’s the thing you use to…, and let other learners guess it.
Keep Practicing
Want a guide you can use without the episode? Read How to Ask for a Word You Forgot in English: It’s the Thing You Use To. It turns the three spare lines into a short set of steps with several objects, a dialogue and exercises with answers.
If your whole mind goes blank and not just one word, see What to Say in English When Your Mind Goes Blank. For the habit of not waiting for perfect English, read Communicate with Confidence Without Waiting for Perfect English.
Chapters
- 00:00 Never Mind: Your Line for Today
- 01:28 Paul’s Barbecue Story
- 03:24 Why We Go Quiet: Three Reasons
- 07:05 Confidence, Shy, Nervous, Self-Conscious
- 10:29 Your Body and Voice: Four Buttons
- 14:38 Mistakes and the Spotlight Effect
- 16:14 Spare Sentences for Forgotten Words
- 19:50 When Your Mind Stops: Rescue Lines
- 23:17 Word Review with Our Stories
- 25:40 Quiz with Pauses
- 27:42 Role-Play: The Barbecue
- 29:24 Your 30-Second Story
- 31:04 Recap and Your Challenge
Full Transcript
Emily: Have you ever stopped in the middle of a sentence and said, never mind?
Paul: Oh, I have. And I still think about one of those sentences.
Emily: Just one sentence. Now I really want to know.
Paul: Just one. It was about my dog. I’ll tell you the whole thing soon.
Emily: Okay. Don’t forget, Paul. Welcome to English Practice Daily. I’m Emily.
Paul: And I’m Paul. This podcast episode is for A1 and A2 learners.
Emily: It’s for you if you understand a lot of English, but go quiet when it’s your turn.
Paul: Today we talk about speaking with more confidence. Not big speeches. Small, real moments.
Emily: Like ordering food, chatting with a neighbor, or telling a short story to a friend.
Paul: First, we’ll see why we go quiet. Then we’ll look at your body and your voice.
Emily: And we’ll give you some spare sentences for the hard moments.
Paul: By the end, you’ll have three short lines to rescue a conversation.
Emily: If you want, say the short lines with us. Out loud is best, but quietly is fine too.
Paul: Here’s our line for today. Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
Emily: Don’t stop. Finish the sentence. Hmm. It sounds easy. I’m not sure it is.
Paul: It isn’t always easy. That’s why it’s our line. We’ll come back to it.
Emily: So, Paul, I’m ready for the dog story now. Tell us everything from the start.
Paul: Okay. It was last summer, on a Saturday, at about six in the evening.
Paul: My neighbor had a barbecue in her garden. Maybe fifteen people were there.
Emily: I bet you didn’t know most of them.
Paul: Only a few. I had a paper plate in my hand, with a burger on it.
Paul: Three people were standing with me. One of them asked, do you have any pets?
Emily: And you have Biscuit.
Paul: Yes, my dog Biscuit. So I started a funny story. Last week, Biscuit saw a cat in the park.
Paul: He ran after it, and I was still holding his… his…
Emily: His leash?
Paul: Yes! But at the barbecue, that word was gone. It just wasn’t there.
Paul: Three faces were looking at me. They were waiting for the end.
Emily: Oh no. I can feel those three seconds from here.
Paul: I laughed a little and said, never mind. Then I went to the kitchen for some water.
Emily: You walked away from your own story!
Paul: I did. And the sad part is, the story was really funny. Biscuit pulled me into a little pond.
Emily: Into a pond! Paul, that’s a really great story.
Paul: I know! And nobody heard the end. I thought about it all evening.
Emily: I want to ask you something important. Was the problem really your English?
Paul: That’s the strange part. I knew every word except one. Park, cat, ran, pond. All there.
Paul: The problem was those three seconds. I felt everyone was looking at me. So I gave up the sentence.
Emily: So the English was there. The courage wasn’t there.
Paul: Right. And I still want to finish that story one day.
Emily: Then let’s start with a big question. I want to know what makes people go quiet.
Paul: I think there are three big reasons. Let me start with the first one.
Emily: Go ahead.
Paul: The first reason is the fear of being judged. Judged means people think bad things about you.
Emily: Like, she’s bad at English. Or, he made a mistake.
Paul: Yes. We think everyone is checking our words.
Emily: Honestly, I feel that a lot. In a shop, I feel the cashier is grading me.
Paul: Grading you. Like a teacher with a red pen.
Emily: Ha, yes. A, B, C. And in my head, I always get a C.
Paul: Here’s a picture I like. Every person is like a movie star in their own movie.
Paul: In their movie, you only have a small part. They are busy with their own story.
Emily: So at the barbecue, those three people…
Paul: They were thinking about their burgers. Is mine too cold? Is there more sauce?
Emily: Not about your missing word.
Paul: Not really. Here’s a short line for moments like that. Everyone is busy with their own movie.
Emily: Everyone is busy with their own movie. I like that one.
Paul: Say it with us if you want. Everyone is busy with their own movie.
Emily: Let me take the second reason, because I know this one very well.
Paul: Please, go ahead.
Emily: The second reason is comparing. We compare ourselves with other people.
Emily: I watch a video, and someone speaks so fast and so smoothly. And I feel tiny.
Emily: Last month, a woman in my class gave a short talk about her city. She didn’t stop once.
Paul: That’s a normal feeling. But think about photos online for a second.
Emily: Photos. Okay, I’m listening.
Paul: When a friend posts a beautiful photo, you see one picture. You don’t see the fifty bad ones before it.
Emily: Oh. The closed eyes and the funny faces.
Paul: Yes. Other people’s English is like that photo. You see the good moment. You don’t see their years of mistakes.
Emily: So I’m comparing my messy photos with their best photo.
Paul: That’s a nice way to say it. So only compare yourself with you. The you from last month.
Emily: I’m better than last month. That’s a good line. And honestly, it’s true for me.
Paul: And now the third reason, the last one.
Emily: Waiting for perfect. We think, I’ll speak when my English is ready.
Paul: And when is ready, exactly?
Emily: Hmm. Never, maybe. That’s the problem. There’s always one more word to learn first.
Paul: Imagine a lake in summer. You stand on the shore. You say, I’ll swim when the water is warm enough.
Emily: And you wait, and you test the water with one toe.
Paul: And then summer is over. You never swam once.
Emily: That’s me with English. I’m still testing the water with one toe.
Paul: The water is never perfect. You just walk in, slowly.
Emily: So our lines are, I don’t need to be ready. I can start small.
Paul: I don’t need to be ready. I can start small. Say it with us, if you like.
Emily: Three reasons, then. Fear of being judged, comparing, and waiting for perfect.
Paul: And all three were at my barbecue. I’m sure about that now.
Emily: Okay. So what is confidence, really? I used to think confident people never feel scared.
Paul: A lot of people think that. I don’t think it’s true.
Paul: For me, confidence is believing you can do something, even with some fear inside.
Emily: So fear and confidence can be together, in the same moment.
Paul: Yes. Think about an umbrella in the rain.
Emily: An umbrella. That’s a strange picture for confidence.
Paul: The umbrella doesn’t stop the rain. The rain is still there. But you can walk to the bus stop.
Emily: Oh, I see. Confidence is the umbrella. It’s not sunny weather.
Paul: Right. You still feel the fear. You just keep walking.
Emily: I like that. I don’t have to wait for sunny weather.
Paul: Now a word that people often mix up. Shy.
Emily: Ooh, that’s me. I was very shy as a child.
Paul: Tell us about that.
Emily: In music class, when I was nine. The teacher asked me to sing alone, in front of everyone.
Emily: I knew the song very well. I sang it at home every day. But in class, I sang so quietly that nobody heard me.
Paul: So shy means quiet and careful around people, especially new people.
Paul: But shy is not the same as no confidence. A shy person can still believe in herself.
Emily: Hmm. So I can be quiet and confident at the same time. I never thought about it that way.
Paul: Sure. Some quiet people don’t talk much, but they finish every sentence.
Emily: Okay, that makes me feel better. Next is nervous, right?
Paul: Yes. Nervous is the shaky feeling before something important. Your heart goes fast.
Emily: For me, my hands get cold, and my voice goes up.
Paul: Here’s something I noticed about myself. When I’m excited, my body feels almost the same. Fast heart, lots of energy.
Emily: Oh, that’s true. Before a holiday, my heart goes fast too.
Paul: So I try a small trick. I change the name of the feeling. Not, I’m nervous. But, I’m excited.
Emily: So it’s like giving the feeling a new label.
Paul: Yes. This is called reframing. You look at the same thing in a new way.
Emily: Let’s try it. I’m not scared. I’m excited.
Paul: Your turn, if you want. I’m not scared. I’m excited.
Emily: It feels a little silly. But I do feel a bit lighter.
Paul: Silly is okay. Silly is better than silent. One more word. Self-conscious.
Emily: That’s when you think about yourself too much, right? How do I look? How do I sound?
Paul: Yes. You watch yourself, and you forget to watch the conversation.
Emily: I’m self-conscious about my accent. I worry that people hear it right away.
Paul: People will hear it. And that’s fine. Your accent is part of you, like your handwriting.
Paul: The listener only needs to understand your idea. They don’t need you to sound like someone else.
Emily: So, less about my sound, and more about my idea.
Paul: Right. Your idea is the important part. Put your attention there.
Paul: Emily, can I ask you about work? You started a new job two years ago, right?
Emily: Yes. And I remember my first team meeting very well. It was on a Monday, at nine.
Emily: There were eight people at a long table. I sat at the end, near the door.
Paul: Near the door. Ready to run, I guess.
Emily: Ha, maybe. When it was my turn, I looked down at my shoes. And I talked very quietly.
Emily: Two people said, sorry? Then my manager said, can you speak up a little?
Paul: Speak up means speak louder. How did that feel?
Emily: Terrible. I felt smaller and smaller. And my voice got even quieter.
Emily: The funny thing is, I had good ideas for that meeting. I wrote them all in my notebook the night before.
Paul: That’s the thing. Your body and your mood are connected.
Paul: I think your body is like a remote control for your mood. And there are four buttons.
Emily: A remote control. Okay, show me the buttons.
Paul: Button one is the way you sit or stand. Sit up straight. Open your shoulders.
Emily: Not like me in that meeting. I sat very small, holding my notebook.
Paul: When you sit small, you feel small. When you sit tall, you can breathe better.
Emily: And when I breathe better, my voice gets stronger too.
Paul: Usually, yes. Button two is your eyes. This is called eye contact.
Paul: Eye contact means looking at the person you are talking to.
Emily: That’s hard for me. Looking straight into someone’s eyes feels too strong.
Paul: Then start easy. Look at the person’s face, not the floor. You don’t need a long stare.
Emily: That helps. But a group of people is harder for me.
Paul: Start with a kind face, maybe a friend in the room. Say your first sentence to that friend. After that, it’s easier to share it with everyone.
Emily: That’s easier. A friend first, then the group.
Paul: Button three is speed. Many nervous people speak very fast.
Emily: Oh, I do that. I want to finish quickly and escape.
Paul: But slow and clear is easier to understand. And it gives your brain time to find words.
Emily: So slow is not weak.
Paul: Slow is not weak. Slow sounds calm.
Paul: Button four is volume. That’s how loud you speak. Remember your meeting? Two people said, sorry.
Emily: Because I was talking to my shoes.
Paul: Right. So turn your volume up by one. Like a TV. Not shouting, just one step up.
Emily: Let’s practice now. I want to press all four buttons.
Paul: Let’s do it. If you’re sitting, sit up straight now. Open your shoulders.
Paul: Take one slow breath. In… and out.
Emily: Now look at something in front of you. A wall, a window, or a cup.
Paul: And say this slowly, and a little loud. Hello, my name is, and then your name.
Emily: Hello. My name is Emily. I’m happy to be here.
Paul: Hello. My name is Paul. I’m happy to be here.
Emily: Now your turn.
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: Tell me how that felt, Emily.
Emily: Honestly, a bit strange. But my voice sounded more like me.
Emily: Now, in meetings, I sit in the middle of the table, not near the door. It’s a small change, but my voice is different there.
Paul: Here’s a useful line for this part. Sorry, let me say that again, more slowly.
Emily: Sorry, let me say that again, more slowly. That’s useful in meetings.
Paul: So, four buttons. How you sit, eye contact, speed, and volume.
Emily: Paul, let’s go back to the barbecue. You forgot one word. Did anyone remember it the next day?
Paul: Hmm. I saw my neighbor on Monday. She only asked, how’s Biscuit?
Emily: So she didn’t say, you forgot the word leash.
Paul: No. She didn’t notice, or she didn’t care.
Emily: There’s a name for this, right? The spotlight effect.
Paul: Yes. A spotlight is the strong light on a stage. It follows one actor.
Paul: The spotlight effect means you feel that light is on you. But really, people aren’t watching you that closely.
Emily: So the light is only in my head.
Paul: Pretty much. Here’s another picture. A small mistake is like a footprint on a beach.
Emily: And then a wave comes…
Paul: And the footprint is gone. People remember your idea. The small mistakes wash away.
Emily: I love that. Footprints on the beach.
Paul: One more thing. Short sentences help a lot. At the barbecue, I could say, my dog saw a cat. He ran. I fell in a pond.
Emily: Three short sentences. And the story is finished.
Paul: Then, later, you add more. Each small sentence that works is a small win.
Emily: Small wins. And each small win makes the next sentence easier.
Paul: And that brings us back to our line. Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
Emily: Don’t stop. Finish the sentence. Say it with us.
Emily: Okay, but sometimes a word really disappears. What then?
Paul: Then you need a spare. Do you have a spare tire in your car?
Emily: Yes, in the trunk, the back part of the car. I’ve never used it.
Paul: But you’re happy it’s there. Spare sentences are the same. You don’t use them every day. But you keep them ready.
Emily: So tell us our spare sentences, one by one.
Paul: Here’s the first. How do you say… For example, how do you say the thing on a dog’s neck?
Emily: How do you say… That’s simple. And the second one is my favorite, I can feel it.
Paul: The second is my favorite. It’s the thing you use to…
Paul: When you forget a word, you explain it. It’s the thing you use to walk a dog.
Emily: Leash!
Paul: See? You found the word for me. That’s all I needed at the barbecue.
Emily: Let me try one. It’s the thing you use to open a door.
Paul: A key. Now another one from you.
Emily: It’s the thing you use to cut bread.
Paul: A knife. Nice.
Emily: Can I show you a mistake I used to make? When I forgot a word, I said, I don’t know English word.
Emily: It was true, but the conversation stopped right there. The other person didn’t know how to help me.
Paul: That’s very common. It’s not wrong, but it closes the door. Nobody knows what to do next.
Emily: Now I say, sorry, how do you say this in English? And then I describe it. It opens the door again, and the other person can help me.
Paul: That’s a great change. Sorry, how do you say this in English? Say it with us.
Paul: The third spare is, what I mean is. Use it when your first sentence comes out wrong.
Emily: Like, the meeting was cold. Sorry, what I mean is, the room was cold.
Paul: Good. Let’s say all three slowly. Say them with us.
Emily: How do you say…
Paul: It’s the thing you use to…
Emily: What I mean is…
Paul: Listen to how we say the second one. It’s… the thing… you use to.
Paul: It’s the thing you use to.
Emily: Small pieces first, then all together. It’s the thing you use to.
Paul: Now a short example. Emily, tell me about your weekend.
Emily: On Sunday, I bought a new… hmm, how do you say… it’s the thing you use to make coffee at home.
Paul: A coffee machine?
Emily: Yes! A coffee machine. What I mean is, a small one, for one cup.
Paul: Nice. And where did you put it?
Emily: Next to the window. Now my mornings start with good coffee.
Paul: Perfect. Three spares, and the story kept going.
Emily: Now I want to know how to practice them every day.
Paul: Talk to yourself in English. When you walk to the bus stop, say what you see.
Emily: Like, a red car. A man with a big dog. The bus is late again.
Paul: Ha, yes. Five minutes a day. Then once a week, record yourself for one minute.
Emily: Ugh, my own voice. I don’t like it.
Paul: Almost nobody does. But after a month, listen to the first one. You’ll hear the change.
Emily: And after that, real people.
Paul: Yes. Start with a kind person. A friend, a classmate, or a teacher.
Emily: A safe space. That’s a place where you feel okay to make mistakes.
Paul: Now the scary moment. You’re talking, and suddenly your head is empty.
Emily: The barbecue moment.
Paul: Yes. Let’s use the remote control again. Step one, press pause. Stop for a moment and let your shoulders drop.
Emily: Pause, not stop. Okay. And step two?
Paul: Look up from the floor and find the other person’s face. They are on your side.
Emily: And step three is words, I guess.
Paul: Right. Say a rescue line. Something like, sorry, I lost my words.
Emily: Sorry, I lost my words. I like that it’s honest.
Paul: And it’s very human. The other person has had the same moment, many times.
Emily: Give us some other rescue lines too.
Paul: If someone speaks too fast, you can say, could you speak more slowly?
Emily: Could you speak more slowly? That one helps me a lot on the phone.
Emily: Last winter, I called a hotel to change the day of my room. The man spoke so fast, and I only understood the word Friday.
Emily: I said, could you speak more slowly, please? He said, of course, sorry. And then everything was easy.
Paul: He wasn’t angry at all. He just didn’t know you needed it.
Paul: And if you didn’t catch it, sorry, can you say that again?
Emily: So, three rescue lines. Sorry, I lost my words. Could you speak more slowly? Sorry, can you say that again?
Paul: Say them with us, if you want. Sorry, I lost my words.
Emily: Could you speak more slowly?
Paul: Sorry, can you say that again?
Emily: Paul, let’s replay the barbecue. Same garden, same paper plate. But this time you know the steps.
Paul: Okay. Last week, Biscuit saw a cat in the park. He ran after it, and I was holding his…
Paul: Pause. Shoulders down. Look up. Sorry, I lost my words. It’s the thing you use to walk a dog.
Emily: A leash?
Paul: Yes, his leash! And he pulled me right into a little pond.
Emily: Into the pond! You were wet from head to toe!
Paul: Completely. My shoes were full of water. I walked home like a duck.
Emily: Ha! Now everyone hears the funny ending.
Paul: That’s all it took. Ten more seconds.
Emily: There’s a famous phrase about this. Fake it till you make it.
Paul: What does it mean to you?
Emily: I think it means you act brave, before you feel brave. And slowly, the feeling comes.
Paul: I agree. It’s not a lie. It’s practice. It’s like trying on a new coat. At first it feels strange. After a while, it’s yours.
Emily: So I can act calm in a meeting, and one day I really am calm.
Paul: That’s the idea. And when it works, celebrate a little.
Emily: Celebrate, for just one sentence. That sounds a bit much.
Paul: Of course, for one sentence. A cup of tea. A tick on your calendar. Or just say, well done, to yourself.
Emily: Well done, me. I can do that.
Paul: A small reward is like a gold star from a teacher. Tomorrow, you want one more star.
Emily: We used a lot of words today. Let’s bring them back with our two stories.
Paul: The barbecue and the meeting. Say each word with us, if you like.
Emily: First, confidence. Paul, where was confidence in your story?
Paul: It was missing for three seconds. Confidence means you believe you can do it, even with some fear.
Emily: Confidence. I’m building my confidence slowly.
Paul: Next, nervous. At the barbecue, three faces were looking at me, and my heart was fast.
Emily: Nervous. I was nervous in my first meeting.
Paul: Shy. Little Emily in music class, singing so quietly.
Emily: Shy. I was shy as a child, but I’m okay now.
Paul: Self-conscious. Emily, thinking about her accent and not her idea.
Emily: Self-conscious. I feel self-conscious when I hear my own voice.
Paul: Body language. Emily at the end of the table, sitting small with her notebook.
Emily: Body language. My body language said, please don’t look at me.
Paul: Eye contact. Looking at the person’s face, not at your shoes.
Emily: Eye contact. I find one kind face first.
Paul: The spotlight effect. I thought everyone saw the missing word. Nobody did.
Emily: The spotlight effect. Nobody saw it. It was only in your head.
Paul: Reframing. Changing the name of the feeling.
Emily: Reframing. I’m not scared. I’m excited.
Paul: Safe space. A place where mistakes feel okay. Like a friend’s kitchen table.
Emily: Safe space. My English class is my safe space.
Paul: Small wins. Three short sentences that work.
Emily: Small wins. Biscuit saw a cat. He ran. Paul fell in a pond.
Paul: Thank you for that. Next, fake it till you make it. Trying on a new coat.
Emily: Fake it till you make it. I acted calm, and then I felt calm.
Paul: That’s eleven words and phrases. You don’t need them all today. Pick two that feel useful for you.
Emily: Now let’s play a quick game. I give you a situation. You think of what to say or do.
Paul: We’ll count to three. Then we’ll give you an answer.
Emily: Number one. A shop assistant talks very fast. You don’t understand. What can you say?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: You can say, could you speak more slowly? It’s short and polite.
Emily: Number two. You’re telling a story. You forget the word for the thing you use to cut paper.
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: You can say, it’s the thing you use to cut paper. The other person will probably say, scissors.
Emily: And now you know the word too. Number three. You have to speak in class tomorrow. Your heart is fast. What can you tell yourself?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: I’m not scared. I’m excited. That’s reframing.
Emily: Number four. You’re in a meeting. You’re sitting small, looking at the table, speaking quietly. What can you change?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: Sit up, open your shoulders, look at a kind face, and turn your volume up by one. Your four buttons.
Emily: How many did you get? Even two is a small win.
Paul: And if you got zero, that’s fine too. That’s just a footprint on the beach.
Emily: Ha. And the wave will take it away.
Paul: You know, Emily, I tried the four buttons last week, on a phone call. I stood up and spoke slowly.
Emily: And I bet you felt a bit taller after the call.
Paul: I did. And I finished every sentence.
Emily: Okay, now let’s go back to the garden one more time. This time, you are Paul.
Paul: Emily will be my neighbor. She’ll ask the questions. You tell the dog story.
Emily: When you hear the count, it’s your turn to speak. After that, Paul gives you an example.
Emily: So, do you have any pets?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: For example, yes, I have a dog. His name is Biscuit.
Emily: Oh, nice! Is he a good dog?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: For example, he’s sweet. But last week, he saw a cat in the park.
Emily: Oh no. What happened?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: For example, sorry, I lost my words. It’s the thing you use to walk a dog. A leash! He pulled the leash and ran.
Emily: Now I’ll talk faster, like at a real party. So did you catch him, or did he run all the way home?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: For example, sorry, could you speak more slowly?
Emily: Of course. Did you catch him?
Paul: One… two… three…
Paul: For example, no. He pulled me into a pond. I was wet from head to toe.
Emily: And the story is finished. Every sentence finished.
Paul: That’s the barbecue I wanted last summer.
Paul: And now the biggest part. This time, you tell your own story, for about thirty seconds.
Emily: Think of a small thing that happened this week. Something a little funny or a little bad.
Paul: Use five short parts. Where you were. What happened. The word you forgot. Your spare line. And the ending.
Emily: Let me try first, so you can hear it. I was at the supermarket on Tuesday evening.
Emily: I wanted to buy a thing for my kitchen, but I forgot the word.
Emily: So I said to the man, sorry, how do you say this in English? It’s the thing you use to open a can.
Emily: He smiled and said, a can opener, and he showed me where it was. I bought it, and I was very proud of myself.
Paul: Lovely. Short, clear, and finished. Here’s a shorter one from me. At the train station, I forgot a word. I said, it’s the thing you use to pay for the train. The woman said, a travel card. Easy.
Emily: Now it’s your turn. Pause the video if you need more time.
Paul: One… two… three…
Emily: Now try it one more time, and add one detail. A day, a time, or a place.
Paul: For example, it was Tuesday evening, at about seven, at the small supermarket near my home.
Emily: If you finished your story, even with mistakes, that’s a small win. Well done.
Emily: So, what did we learn today? Three things.
Paul: One. We go quiet because we fear being judged, we compare, and we wait for perfect.
Emily: Two. Our body helps our voice. Sit tall, look at a kind face, go slow, and speak up a little.
Paul: Three. Keep some spare lines ready. It’s the thing you use to. And, sorry, I lost my words.
Emily: Here’s one small thing to do today. Stand in front of a mirror for one minute.
Paul: Tell a tiny story about your day. Use, it’s the thing you use to, one time. And don’t stop in the middle.
Emily: And remember our line, one last time. Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
Paul: Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
Emily: Say it with us. Don’t stop. Finish the sentence.
Paul: Now a question for you. What word do you often forget in English?
Emily: Describe it in the comments with, it’s the thing you use to. We’ll try to guess the word.
Paul: For example, it’s the thing you use to open a bottle.
Emily: Ooh, I know that one. But I won’t say it. Other people can guess.
Paul: In the next episode, we’ll practice more simple English for real life.
Emily: If this episode helped you, please subscribe, so you can find us next time.
Paul: Thanks for staying with us to the end.
Emily: And Paul, say hello to Biscuit for me. Does he still love ponds?
Paul: He loves them. I stay far away from ponds now.
Emily: Ha! See you next time, everyone.