How to Ask for a Word You Forgot in English: It’s the Thing You Use To

Marta is in a kitchen shop. She wants the long spoon with a deep round end that you use for soup. She has seen it a hundred times. Today the word has run away.

She walks to the shop assistant and says: “I don’t know English word.”

The assistant is kind. But she does not know what Marta wants. A pan? A knife? She says “Sorry?” and waits. Marta says “Soup… spoon… big…” and the two of them stand there. The shop is not the problem. The sentence was: it is true, but it gives the assistant nothing to do.

This page gives you a better way, in three short steps. You can use it in a shop, at work, at a barbecue or on the phone. The three lines come from a podcast episode about speaking with more confidence; the objects and the dialogues on this page were written for you.

Step 1: Ask for help with “How do you say…?”

The line: Sorry, how do you say this in English?

This is the first replacement for I don’t know English word. It does two things that the old sentence did not. It asks, so the other person knows they can help. And it shows you still want to talk.

The short form is also useful in the middle of a sentence. You say How do you say… and stop for a moment:

• I need a… hmm, how do you say… a long spoon for soup.
• Where can I buy a… how do you say… the thing for my phone?

You do not need the whole question every time. Two or three words, a small pause, and the other person usually steps in.

Add something after the question. A bare How do you say? is better than silence, but How do you say… plus a description is much better. That is step two.

Step 2: Describe it with “It’s the thing you use to…”

The line: It’s the thing you use to + a verb.

Say what the object does. English has a pattern for this, and A1 learners can use it with only a few verbs.

Pattern	Example
It’s the thing you use to + verb	It’s the thing you use to take out hot pasta.
It’s the thing you use to + verb + noun	It’s the thing you use to cut a pizza into pieces.

Notice what the sentence leaves out. You do not need the noun. The listener thinks of the noun, and says it for you. In the episode, Emily says It’s the thing you use to open a door, and Paul answers A key. She says It’s the thing you use to cut bread, and he answers A knife. The speaker never says the word, and the talk goes on.

Here are five more objects, written for this page. Cover the right column and guess:

You say	The word you were looking for
It’s the thing you use to put soup in a bowl.	a ladle
It’s the thing you use to charge your phone.	a charger
It’s the thing you use to join pieces of paper.	a stapler
It’s the thing you use to pull out small hairs.	tweezers
It’s the thing you use to keep your jacket in the wardrobe.	a hanger

If the verb is hard to find, add a place or a size. These small pieces are easy and they make the picture clear:

• It’s in the kitchen. It’s the thing you use to…
• It’s small. It’s the thing you use to…
• It’s the thing you use to…, and you find it in a bathroom.

Two repairs for the pattern itself:

Say this	Not this	Why
It’s the thing you use to open it.	It’s the thing use to open.	You need you before use.
It’s the thing you use to open a bottle.	It’s the thing you use for open a bottle.	After to comes the verb. If you want for, it takes an -ing word: for opening a bottle. At A1 and A2, stay with to + verb.

Step 3: Fix your own sentence with “What I mean is…”

The line: Sorry, what I mean is…

Sometimes the word is not gone. It came out wrong. You say one thing, hear it, and know it is not what you meant. In the episode, Emily gives an example: The meeting was cold. Sorry, what I mean is, the room was cold.

This line is a small door back into your sentence. You do not say “I made a mistake” and you do not start again from the beginning. You say what I mean is and give the better version.

• I bought a bag for my flowers. Sorry, what I mean is, a vase.
• He is a very big man. Sorry, what I mean is, a very tall man.

Use it for words and for ideas. The listener hears the repair, and the talk keeps moving.

The three lines in one short conversation

Here is a full conversation. Read it out loud. Marta is M, and the assistant is S.

M: Excuse me. I need a… hmm, how do you say… it’s the thing you use to put soup in a bowl.
S: A ladle?
M: Yes! A ladle. Do you have one?
S: Sure. Do you want a big one?
M: Yes, please. What I mean is, a long one, for a big pot.
S: This one is thirty centimeters. It’s right here.
M: Perfect. Thank you.

Count the moves. Marta used the question (how do you say), a description (it’s the thing you use to put soup in a bowl), and a repair (what I mean is, a long one). The assistant never had to guess. And Marta learned a new word, ladle, without leaving the shop.

Check yourself: four sentences to fix

Fix each one. The answers are below.

1. I don’t know English word. (say it so the other person can help)
2. It’s the thing use to cut paper. (add the missing word)
3. It’s the thing you use for open a bottle. (use to + verb)
4. The meeting was cold. (you meant the room; fix it with the third line)

Now try these three. Use It’s the thing you use to… for each object, without saying the word:

5. a key
6. an umbrella
7. a pillow

Answers

1. Sorry, how do you say this in English? (and then describe it)
2. It’s the thing you use to cut paper.
3. It’s the thing you use to open a bottle.
4. The meeting was cold. Sorry, what I mean is, the room was cold.
5. For example: It’s the thing you use to open a door.
6. For example: It’s the thing you use to stay dry in the rain.
7. For example: It’s the thing you use to rest your head at night.

Your sentences can be different. If the listener can guess the word, your answer works.

Before you travel, shop or call: your forgotten-word card

Write these three lines in a note on your phone. Use them in this order:

1. Ask: Sorry, how do you say this in English?
2. Describe: It’s the thing you use to…
3. Repair: Sorry, what I mean is…

Then do one small job today. Stand in front of a mirror for one minute. Tell a tiny story about your day and use It’s the thing you use to… one time. Do not stop in the middle of the sentence.

Hear it in a real conversation

Want to hear these lines in a story with real pauses, and practice them with a quiz and a role-play? Listen to the episode and read its Show Note: How to Speak English with More Confidence: Four Buttons, Three Spare Lines and a Dog Story. If your whole mind goes blank and not only one word, read What to Say in English When Your Mind Goes Blank.