How to Think Out Loud in English When You Have Not Decided Yet
A friend asks, Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon for our English practice? Your head fills up at once. Saturday feels easier, but you have a plan on Sunday evening, and your friend sometimes works on Saturdays, and it might rain. You say nothing for twelve seconds. Then you type: Either is fine.
Paul and Emily describe the same habit in their episode on decisions: “I stay silent for twelve seconds. Then say, ‘Either is fine.’” That can be true, Paul says, “but if you actually do have a preference, the other person learns nothing.” Your friend now has to guess, and you still have the problem you started with.
The fix in the episode is small: “Then don’t wait for the final answer. Say the decision while it’s still unfinished.”
(The scenes and quotes in “curly marks” come from the episode. Sentences in italics are written for this page.)
Why saying the unfinished part is not rambling
“Stop thinking, start talking” can sound like an instruction to stop using your brain. Paul says it is not: “It means stop doing all the thinking silently when another person needs to hear where you are in the decision.”
There is a limit, and the hosts are clear about it. The goal is “enough of the process to be useful. Not every private thought.” Paul puts it this way: “the listener does not need your whole internal spreadsheet.” Emily’s answer is honest: “Mine has colors.”
What does help is a half-answer with three parts. After Emily’s second try at the opening choice, Paul says: “You gave me an initial direction, one reason, and one open point. I can respond to that.” The open point is the useful part, because it gives the other person something to answer: “Now, your next thought has something to react to.”
The shape of a spoken decision
Every phrase in this lesson shows the listener a different stage. Emily’s summary is the best one-line version: “The language tells the listener whether I’m opening a thought, leaning, naming a concern, revising, or closing.”
| Stage | What you say | What the listener learns |
|---|---|---|
| Open | My first thought is… | This is where I am now |
| Lean | I’m leaning toward… | I prefer this, but not completely |
| Factor | The main thing I’m thinking about is… | This is what controls my choice |
| Worry | The only thing is… | This is the one concern I have |
| React | If that works, I’d go with… | I respond to what you just told me |
| Update | On second thought… | New information changed my answer |
| Close | Let’s go with… | We are done choosing |
You do not need all seven in every conversation. A short choice may need only My first thought is… and Let’s go with…. The rest of the page takes each stage in turn.
Open with “My first thought is…”
This is the phrase that lets you begin before you are ready. Emily says it “gives me permission to begin before the decision is final.” Paul gives three examples: “My first thought is the earlier train.” “My first thought is the smaller room.” “My first thought is option B.” Each tells the listener, “this is where I am now.”
Compare it with the phrase most learners reach for. “I’ve decided” closes the door. “My first thought is…” leaves the door open. If you are not sure yet, only the second one is honest.
Show the lean with “I’m leaning toward…”
I think Saturday is a basic line and it is fine. The upgrade in the episode adds a little more information: “I’m leaning toward Saturday.” It “shows preference without pretending the decision is final.” Paul describes it as a preference you hold now, “but not completely.”
You can also say out loud that you are flexible. The episode’s version is “I’m leaning toward the morning, but either can work.” You keep your opinion and still leave room for the other person.
Pick one factor with “The main thing I’m thinking about is…”
Emily admits the habit this phrase fixes: “Otherwise I sometimes give five reasons with equal importance.” The phrase makes you choose. Paul’s list of possible factors is useful: “time, or cost, distance, noise, energy, who can come, whatever actually matters in that conversation.”
The main thing I’m thinking about is time is a complete sentence. If you add a second factor, you are probably back to the spreadsheet. In the episode, Emily’s factor for the walk is “my energy,” and Paul’s factor for a poster photo is “readability.”
Name one worry with “The only thing is…”
Emily noticed that the phrase does not mean what the words seem to say: “It doesn’t have to mean the only issue in the universe.” It means “the important concern I’m bringing into the conversation now.” Examples from the episode: “I’m leaning toward the morning. The only thing is, I may have to leave early.” And: “My first thought is the blue one. The only thing is, the text is harder to read.”
The tone matters, too. Paul compares two ways to name a problem. “The problem is, you always choose expensive places” is “personal and heavy.” “The only thing is, that place is a bit expensive for me” is “specific, usable, calmer.” The calmer version names one concern and keeps the conversation moving.
React and update with “If that works…” and “On second thought…”
When the other person gives you information, you can answer in two ways. If that works, I’d go with… accepts a condition: “If that works, I’d go with Sunday afternoon.” On second thought… changes your mind: “On second thought, the later time makes more sense.”
Neither needs an apology. Paul says it plainly: “That’s not an apology. It’s a clean update.” Later in the episode, Emily feels embarrassed to change an answer after saying “Definitely Saturday,” and Paul’s reply is that “changing your mind after new information is normal communication.” You change one part of the decision, not the whole conversation: that is “very different from saying, ‘Wait, forget everything I said.’”
Close with “Let’s go with…”
When you do want to decide, use a clear closing phrase. “Let’s go with the smaller table.” “Let’s go with Friday.” “Let’s go with the first version.” Paul’s comment: “That moves from thinking to decision.” The Let’s matters: you are deciding together, not announcing a ruling.
One choice from first thought to final answer
Here is the episode’s best example, step by step. The friend has sent two options for Saturday: a morning walk or an afternoon board-game café.
| Who says what | Stage |
|---|---|
| Emily: “My first thought is the morning walk.” | Open |
| Emily: “The main thing I’m thinking about is my energy. I’m usually more active in the morning.” | Factor |
| Emily: “The only thing is, one friend can’t come until later.” | Worry |
| Paul: “She says she can join the afternoon plan.” Emily: “Then I’m leaning toward the board-game café.” | Lean (new information) |
| Paul: “She also says the café may be crowded, but you can reserve a table.” Emily: “If that works, I’d go with the café.” | React |
| Paul: “And if I now tell you the reservation time is much later than everyone wanted?” | New information |
| Emily: “On second thought, maybe the walk is easier. Actually—no, let me make that clearer.” | Update, then repair |
Look at how the last turn works. Emily starts to switch to the walk, stops, and repairs her own sentence: “On second thought, I’d ask whether the group cares more about everyone joining or about the earlier time.” Paul calls it “good repair.” She did not force a final choice “when one important preference was still unknown.”
When a question is the best next move
“Start talking does not mean choose immediately,” Emily says, and Paul agrees: “It means make the uncertainty communicative. Sometimes the best spoken move is a question that helps the group decide.”
The poster-photo scene shows how. New information (most posters will be printed in black and white) makes Emily switch to Photo B, and Paul agrees. Then she stops them: “Are we deciding too fast now? We should check whether the black and white version of photo A is actually unclear.” Paul gives the better version: “On second thought, I’m leaning toward photo B. The main thing I’m thinking about is how it will look in black and white. Can we preview both?” They use the new information, but they do not “pretend to know something we hadn’t checked.”
The limit is in the next sentence from Paul: keep the question connected to the choice. “Don’t suddenly interview everyone about 10 details.” One useful check is enough.
Four ways a spoken decision stalls
| What happens | A calmer version |
|---|---|
| Silence, then Either is fine. | “I’m leaning toward the morning, but either can work.” |
| Every reason at once: Saturday, Sunday, rain, tired people | “I’m leaning toward Saturday. The main thing I’m thinking about is who can come.” |
| Holding on to the first answer after new information | “On second thought, Sunday works better if Ana can join then.” |
| “The only thing is the price, and the time, and the distance, and the weather” | Pick one worry, or say there are two things you are thinking about if there really are two |
If you truly have no preference, you do not have to invent one. The episode’s answer is “Either works for me,” and then “help with the decision in another way.” The goal is “clear communication, not pretending to have an opinion.”
If the problem is different, and your mind simply goes blank, see What to Say in English When Your Mind Goes Blank. If you are listening to someone else’s plan change, see How to Follow a Changing Plan in English and Check What You Heard.
Three drills to try, with answers
Exercise 1: Name the stage. Say each sentence aloud, then name the stage: open, lean, factor, worry, react, update or close. Some sentences have two stages.
- “My first thought is the earlier train.”
- “The main thing I’m thinking about is time.”
- “The only thing is, I may have to leave early.”
- “If that works, I’d go with Sunday afternoon.”
- “On second thought, the later time makes more sense.”
- “Let’s go with the smaller table.”
- “I’m leaning toward the cheaper one.”
- My first thought is Friday. The only thing is, I may have a late meeting.
- Oh, I didn’t know it closes at six. On second thought, let’s try the library.
- Okay, let’s go with Thursday.
Answers to Exercise 1
- Open.
- Factor.
- Worry.
- React: you accept something the other person offered, on a condition.
- Update.
- Close.
- Lean.
- Open, then worry. (Two stages in two sentences.)
- Update, then a new suggestion. The first sentence is the new information.
- Close.
Exercise 2: Build three lines. For each question, answer with an opening, one factor and one worry. Say your answer aloud before you read the model.
a. Do you want to eat in or order takeout? (You prefer takeout. The factor is time. The worry is cost.)
b. Which route do you want, the highway or the old road? (You prefer the old road. The factor is traffic. The worry is that it is longer.)
c. Do you want to practice speaking or listening first? (You prefer speaking. The factor is energy. The worry is that your friend arrives late.)
Model answers to Exercise 2
a. My first thought is takeout. The main thing I’m thinking about is time, because I have a meeting at one. The only thing is, it’s a bit expensive this week.
b. My first thought is the old road. The main thing I’m thinking about is traffic. The only thing is, it’s a longer drive.
c. My first thought is speaking. The main thing I’m thinking about is energy, because I’m freshest now. The only thing is, I’d like Maya to be here for that part.
Your answers can use different words. Check for three things: a direction, one factor, one worry.
Exercise 3: Repair the line. Each sentence has a problem. Rewrite it so the listener can respond.
- Either is fine. (You slightly prefer Sunday.)
- Saturday. Definitely Saturday. (A friend says Ana can only come on Sunday.)
- The problem is, you always choose expensive places.
- I don’t know. Maybe Saturday because Sunday, but also Sunday because Saturday, and if it rains…
Answers to Exercise 3
- “I’m leaning toward the morning, but either can work.” Use your own option: I’m leaning toward Sunday, but either can work.
- “On second thought, Sunday works better if Ana can join then.”
- “The only thing is, that place is a bit expensive for me.”
- “I’m leaning toward Saturday. The main thing I’m thinking about is who can come.”
Keep the key words strong and the small ones light
The episode’s pronunciation anchor is one sentence: “I’m leaning toward Saturday, but the main thing I’m thinking about is time.” The hosts mark the key words: “Leaning, Saturday, Main, Thinking, Time.” Paul says: “Don’t hit every word equally.”
Say it in chunks first: I’m leaning toward Saturday / but the main thing I’m thinking about / is time. Then say it again, naturally, as one thought. Emily’s advice for the listener is the point: it should sound “like one developing thought. Not nine separate words.”
A 60-to-120-second task for a real choice
The hosts’ final task is a good one to keep. Imagine you and a friend must choose one time for a 90-minute English practice session. Option A is Saturday morning. Option B is Sunday afternoon. At first, Saturday seems easier. Then you learn your friend has an appointment on Saturday morning and might arrive 30 minutes late. Sunday works for both of you, but you have another plan that evening.
Speak for about 60 to 120 seconds. Start with a preference, give the main factor, add one concern, react to the new information, ask one useful check if you need it, and end with a revised or final choice. Try at least four of the phrases, and let your first answer and final answer be different. The episode says that is “actually good practice for this skill.”
Here is the model from the episode, short enough to copy: “My first thought is Saturday morning, because I usually have more energy then. The main thing I’m thinking about is whether we both get a full practice session. If you may be 30 minutes late, I’m leaning toward Sunday instead. The only thing is, I have another plan Sunday evening. If we can start at two and finish by three thirty, I’d go with Sunday. Let’s go with that.”
When you try it again, make it more conversational: “Remove one reason that the listener doesn’t need.”
Where this shows up in real days
Emily’s list is a good start: “Making weekend plans, choosing what to order with someone, deciding which idea to use in a project, even choosing what to practice in English.” None of those needs a perfect sentence. They need one honest line to start with.
The hosts’ advice for the next real choice: “Don’t wait until every reason is organized. Say one honest line: ‘My first thought is…’ and let the conversation help shape the rest.”
Seven lines to carry into the next choice
- My first thought is… to begin before the decision is final
- I’m leaning toward… to show a preference you can still change
- The main thing I’m thinking about is… to pick one factor
- The only thing is… to name one concern, calmly
- If that works, I’d go with… to answer what the other person just said
- On second thought… to change your answer without apologizing
- Let’s go with… to decide together
The habit behind them is even simpler: “Open the thought, name what matters, let the other person respond, update when needed.” Then, “close the choice.”
Hear it in a real conversation
Want to hear Paul and Emily work through the café choice, the photo for the poster and the final speaking challenge? Listen with the Show Note: Stop Thinking, Start Talking: Think Out Loud and Make Decisions in English.