Change Your Life for the Better in English: One Day at a Time with Used To, Now I and Small Habits
Think about the last time you said, “From Monday, my life will be different.” The episode begins with that sentence (00:00) and with the ending every learner knows: “And then Wednesday came, and nothing was different at all.” (00:05)
Paul and Emily do not offer a new life by Monday. For about 75 minutes they walk through one normal day, from night to night: sleep, the first ten minutes of the morning, your desk, the people around you, the moment you make a mistake, small habits, goals and the bad days. Each stop has a picture, a few useful words and a short change story told with one sentence frame: I used to… Now I… I’m trying to…
This episode is for A1 and A2 learners (00:18). The English is slow and simple, and almost every new phrase is said twice so you can repeat it. It is a long episode. You do not need to finish it in one sitting: one chapter a day works well, and it fits the idea of the episode.
Watch the episode: Watch the episode on YouTube
Time: about 75 minutes to listen. The practice below takes about 20 minutes. Listen by chapter if you prefer; the chapter list is at the bottom.
Before you listen: think of one small thing you did in the past and do not do now. It can be very small: a coffee, a phone, a messy desk. You will use it with the frame in the first chapters.
How to use this page: listen to one chapter, then repeat the sentences when Paul and Emily say “Say it with us.” Come back to this page for the phrase table and the practice. The full transcript is at the bottom if a line goes too fast.
What You’ll Learn
- A three-part frame for talking about a change: I used to, Now I, I’m trying to
- How used to sounds in real speech, and why the verb after it stays simple
- Eleven words and phrases from the stories: realistic, make a decision, attention, clear my head, meaningful, consistency, setback, recovery, quiet progress, used to, step by step
- Pictures that make the ideas easy to remember: a necklace of beads, a hungry shopper, a glass of water, a room that talks, music in a coffee shop, a referee and a coach, a song chorus, coffee on a white shirt
- How to describe a clear goal with what, when and how often
- How to talk about a bad day and a small first step back
- A short “What did you change this year?” conversation you can use at work
- Practice for you: listen for details, fix the frame, turn a referee sentence into a coach sentence, and say one change out loud
Key Idea
Change one day. Then do it again.
This is the sentence of the episode. Emily says it the first time at 09:40 and the hosts return to it again in the habits chapter (46:23) and at the end. The idea behind it is the necklace: “Your life is the necklace. Your days are the beads.” (09:00) Nobody makes a whole necklace in one morning, so you add one bead at a time. A grey, boring day is still a bead.
Paul’s Story: Fifteen Rules on the Kitchen Board (00:56)
Paul tells the story that gives the episode its shape. After he moved to a new apartment he thought, “New home, new me.” (01:19) On the first Sunday night he wrote fifteen rules for his new life on a white board in the kitchen (01:35): no sugar, no coffee after two in the afternoon, Spanish every evening, no TV and more (01:44).
On Monday he followed all fifteen. On Tuesday, maybe ten. By Friday of the second week the board held only a shopping list: milk, eggs, bananas (02:19). But one rule stayed: “Rule number fourteen. Keys go in the blue bowl by the door.” (02:41) It takes two seconds, and six months later it is still alive. The big plan died and the tiny rule lived. This is the “why” of the whole episode.
Your Tool: I Used To, Now I, I’m Trying To (03:17)
Emily gives you the sentence tool at 03:59: “I used to. Now I. And I’m trying to.” I used to is for something you did many times and do not do now (04:07). Now I says what you do today. Paul’s example is the best one: “I used to write fifteen rules.” (04:16) “Now I have one bowl for my keys.” (04:22)
I’m trying to is for a change that is not finished: “We use it for a change that is not finished yet.” (04:53) Emily’s example is “I’m trying to sleep earlier,” and she explains the word: “Some nights, yes. Some nights, no. That’s why I say trying.” (05:13)
There is a pronunciation note at 05:29. In normal speech used to sounds like one soft word, “Yoostuh.” (05:32) And a grammar note at 05:52: after used to the verb stays simple. “I used to play. Not I used to playing.” (05:55)
A Better Life Is a Necklace of Better Days (06:16)
What is a better life? Emily’s answer is not a big house: “For me, a better life is not a perfect life.” (06:47) It is sleeping a little better, feeling calmer and being less in a hurry. Paul says that a better day for him is a day with less rushing: “I don’t run to the bus.” (07:49)
Then comes the necklace of small beads (08:31). The hosts add the first word, realistic: fifteen minutes of Spanish on the bus is realistic, one hour after a long workday is a dream (10:28). Choose one or two changes at a time, not fifteen (11:22), and when you do not feel like it, do a smaller version. Their line for learners: “A real learner is someone who comes back.” (12:33)
Sleep: A Tired Brain Is a Hungry Shopper (13:30)
Why do tired people make bad choices? Emily’s picture is a hungry shopper at the supermarket: Paul’s basket held cookies, two kinds of chips, a cake and one sad tomato (14:28). A tired brain, like a hungry shopper, wants the easy thing right now (14:42). This chapter gives you the phrase make a decision and a warning: we say make a decision, not do a decision (15:08).
Emily’s change story is the model for the frame. “I used to watch videos in bed until one in the morning.” (15:42) Now she turns off the big light at ten thirty, keeps only a small lamp, puts out her clothes for tomorrow and listens to one slow song (16:12). It did not work at once: the first week she managed it only twice (17:00). Paul’s change is coffee: “Now I drink my last coffee before two.” (18:42) Rule number two on his white board failed in the first week, and worked later because it was the only change (18:55).
Morning Attention: A Glass of Water (19:49)
Paul defines attention as where your mind goes. When you wake up, your attention is a full glass of water; every message, news story and video takes a little water out (20:32). His change: he used to read the news in bed, and now for the first ten minutes he looks out of the window (21:52). The phrase is clear my head, to make your mind calm and not busy (22:46).
Emily’s change uses the third part of the frame. She used to answer her sister’s messages right away, and now she is “trying to answer them after breakfast.” (23:31) Some days she still answers in bed, which is why the sentence says trying. For busy parents the ten minutes can be two (24:20). The same idea works at work: put your phone in another room, or face down with no sound, for twenty minutes (25:09).
Your Desk: When Your Room Can Talk (26:19)
The picture for this chapter: your room can talk, and every messy thing is a small note saying “later” (26:59). A cleaner desk is a quieter room. Paul’s keys used to be everywhere, and now they have one home: “One thing, one place.” (28:11) Emily’s papers used to be all over the desk (28:23), and now they go into a brown paper box every evening (28:40). Choose one small place, not your whole home, and put back three things before bed. The chapter ends with a line the hosts like: “Tonight is a gift for tomorrow morning.” (30:01)
People Around You: Music in a Coffee Shop (30:41)
Some people make you feel light and others make you feel tired, like different music in a coffee shop. You cannot choose every song, but you can choose where you sit (31:17). The test is simple: after you see someone, do you feel lighter or heavier? Emily’s friend Anna is her “soft piano” (33:03). They used to talk twice a year; now Emily calls her every Thursday for twenty minutes (33:13). This call is meaningful, which means important to you (34:00).
For a person who makes you feel heavy, you do not cut them out. You can change the topic (35:47). You can also be the soft piano for someone else, with one kind message (36:17).
Mistakes: Be a Coach, Not a Referee (36:58)
A referee only blows the whistle when you do something wrong, and a coach says “try again” and “you can do this.” Paul asks, “In your head, are you a referee or a coach?” (38:25) His story: in his Spanish class he put the words in the wrong order when he gave his age, the class laughed in a friendly way, and then on the way home the referee in his head started (39:11).
The coach version is short and useful: “I made a mistake. I can fix it next time.” (40:10) Emily’s referee story is a black screen during a presentation, thirty seconds that her inner referee turned into two days of whistles (41:02 to 42:23). Her coach says the computer had a problem, not her, and suggests a USB stick next time (42:02). At the end of the chapter you practice turning a referee sentence into a coach sentence.
Habits: Consistency Is a Song Chorus (43:15)
Emily’s picture: a good habit is like the chorus of a song, short and simple, and it comes back every day (44:04). That is consistency. Motivation is like the weather: some days sunny, some days rainy. “So consistency is the chorus, and motivation is the weather.” (45:46) Add a tiny habit to something you already do, such as Emily’s tea. While the water gets hot she says three English sentences about her day (47:19). Her line: you do not start a new song, you add one line.
Clear Goals, Setbacks and Recovery (48:16)
A cloud goal such as “I want to be healthier” does not tell you what to do on Monday. A clear goal answers three questions: What will I do? When? How often? (48:45) Emily’s example: “I cook at home on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.” (49:05) Paul keeps a paper calendar with a tick on each day; the tick shows you are moving, and an empty box is not a red card (50:37, 51:25).
When the plan breaks, the hosts use a spilled coffee on a white shirt: it ruins a shirt, not the day (52:23). Then the new words: a setback is a problem that moves you back a little (52:58), and recovery is coming back after a problem. Emily got a bad cold, four days in bed, and her first step back was one simple egg dish (53:22). That is quiet progress. The tip: make the first step back smaller than before the problem (54:15).
Before and After: Our Small Changes (54:56)
Here the hosts give six changes with the full frame, and each ends with a feeling. “I used to eat lunch at my desk every day. Now I eat with my team twice a week.” (55:42) Then the feeling: “It makes me feel less alone at work.” (55:48) Emily: “I used to keep my phone on my pillow…” (56:04), and the result, “It makes me feel more rested in the morning.” (56:09) Paul stops buying coffee on the way to work and saves about forty dollars a month, which makes him feel more in control of his money (56:34). Then Emily’s weekend, Paul’s Spanish (“ready, not nervous”, 57:23) and Emily’s emails (“braver”). The reminder at 57:55: “if your change is not finished yet, say I’m trying to.”
Review, Quiz and Role-Play (58:49)
The review does not read a list. Each of the eleven words returns with its story: realistic with the white board, make a decision with the hungry shopper, attention with the glass of water, and so on up to step by step with the beads (59:00 to 63:48). Then comes a six-story quiz (63:59): Tom is recovery, Mia’s twenty goals are not realistic, Ben and his podcast are consistency, Lan’s missed train is a setback, Sam’s phone is attention, and Kim’s drawer is quiet progress.
In the role-play (68:50), two coworkers talk at lunch. Paul asks, “What did you change?” (69:19), “When did you start doing that?” (69:27) and “And how do you feel now?” (69:32). Emily answers with the frame. In round two you answer after each question (70:14). It is a natural small-talk question that people enjoy more than the weather.
Your Task for Today and Recap (72:07)
Tonight, do one small thing for tomorrow: one place for your keys, one box for your papers, or a time to turn off the big light (72:12 to 72:30). Then say one sentence out loud with the frame. The recap has three ideas: a better life is many better days, small things around you matter, and when you make a mistake be a coach, not a referee (72:58). The closing question, in the comments: “What is one small thing you used to do, and what do you do now?” (73:44)
Useful Language from the Episode
| Phrase | Meaning | Example from the episode |
|---|---|---|
| I used to + verb (04:07) | something you did many times and do not do now | ”I used to write fifteen rules.” |
| Now I + verb (04:22) | what you do today | ”Now I have one bowl for my keys.” |
| I’m trying to + verb (05:06) | a change that is not finished yet | ”I’m trying to sleep earlier.” |
| It makes me feel + word (55:48) | the feeling the change gives you | ”It makes me feel less alone at work.” |
| realistic (10:28) | possible in your real life | ”Fifteen minutes on the bus is realistic.” |
| make a decision (15:08) | choose what to do | ”It’s hard to make a decision when I’m tired.” |
| attention (20:32) | where your mind goes | ”I pay attention to my first ten minutes.” |
| clear my head (22:46) | make your mind calm and not busy | ”Looking out of the window helps me clear my head.” |
| meaningful (34:00) | important to you | ”My Thursday call with Anna is meaningful.” |
| consistency (44:04) | the same small thing again and again | ”Consistency beats one big day.” |
| setback (52:58) | a problem that moves you back a little | ”I had a setback, but I didn’t stop.” |
| recovery (53:22) | coming back after a problem | ”My recovery was fast.” |
| quiet progress (62:51) | a change nobody notices, but it is real | ”Quiet progress is still progress.” |
| step by step (63:48) | slowly, one small part after another | ”I change my life step by step.” |
Mistake and Repair
| Often said | Better | Why |
|---|---|---|
| I used to playing football. | I used to play football. | After used to the verb stays simple (05:52, 05:55). |
| I’m trying to sleeping earlier. (written for this page) | I’m trying to sleep earlier. | To is followed by the simple verb (05:06). |
| Now I’m sleep earlier. (written for this page) | Now I sleep earlier. or Now I’m trying to sleep earlier. | Do not mix I’m with a plain verb (05:21). |
| I do a decision. | I make a decision. | We say make a decision (15:08). |
| I used to drink coffee, now I am not drink. (written for this page) | I used to drink coffee. Now I don’t. | A negative in the present uses don’t (written for this page). |
Practice with the Episode
1. Listen for details
Listen again and answer. The answers follow.
- How many rules did Paul write on the kitchen board, and which one is still alive?
- At what time does Emily turn off the big light?
- What does Paul do for the first ten minutes of his morning?
- Where do Emily’s papers go every evening?
- How often does Emily call Anna, and for how long?
- What was Emily’s first step back after four days in bed?
Answers
- Fifteen rules; rule number fourteen, keys in the blue bowl (01:35, 02:41).
- At ten thirty (16:12).
- He looks out of the window (21:52).
- Into a brown paper box (28:40).
- Every Thursday evening, for twenty minutes (33:13).
- One simple egg dish (53:22).
2. Fix the frame
Fix each sentence out loud, then check. All six were written for this page; the rules come from the episode.
- I used to walking to work.
- Now I’m drink water at four.
- I’m trying to going to bed earlier.
- I use to check my phone at every red light.
- Now I am have one bowl for my keys.
- I used to answer every message at once. Now I trying to check them every hour.
Answers
- I used to walk to work. (the verb stays simple after used to, 05:55)
- Now I drink water at four. (Now I + present verb)
- I’m trying to go to bed earlier. (to + simple verb)
- I used to check my phone at every red light. (used to, with a d, in writing; it sounds like “use-to” in speech, 05:32)
- Now I have one bowl for my keys. (04:22)
- I used to answer every message at once. Now I’m trying to check them every hour. (I’m is needed, 26:05)
3. Referee to coach
Turn each referee sentence into a coach sentence. Make it short, kind and useful. Possible answers follow; yours can be different.
- I’m too slow at learning English.
- I always forget new words.
- My accent is terrible.
- I made one mistake in the meeting, so I’m bad at my job. (written for this page)
Answers
- “I’m learning step by step. I know more than last year.” (42:43)
- “I forget some words. I can review them again tomorrow.”
- “People can understand me. My accent is part of me.” (43:06)
- I made a mistake. I can fix it next time. (40:10)
4. Your one change
Say your change out loud two times: I used to … Now I … It makes me feel … Choose a small change: lunch, a phone, a desk, a call, a walk. If it is not finished yet, use I’m trying to. The second time is always easier (58:38). Then write the same sentence in the comments under the video.
Keep Practicing
Do you want to talk about your own change without mixing the three parts of the frame? Read I Used To, Now I, I’m Trying To: Talk About a Change in Your Life in English. It takes the frame apart one piece at a time, shows how to choose between Now I and I’m trying to, and gives you exercises with answers.
Chapters
- 00:00 Change Your Life for the Better, One Day at a Time
- 00:56 Paul’s Story: Fifteen Rules on the Kitchen Board
- 03:17 Your Tool: I Used To, Now I, I’m Trying To
- 06:16 A Better Life Is a Necklace of Better Days
- 13:30 Sleep: A Tired Brain Is a Hungry Shopper
- 19:49 Morning Attention: A Glass of Water
- 26:19 Your Desk: When Your Room Can Talk
- 30:41 People Around You: Music in a Coffee Shop
- 36:58 Mistakes: Be a Coach, Not a Referee
- 43:15 Habits: Consistency Is a Song Chorus
- 48:16 Clear Goals, Setbacks and Recovery
- 54:56 Before and After: Our Small Changes
- 58:49 Review: 11 Words and Phrases from Our Stories
- 63:59 Quiz: Which Word Is It?
- 68:50 Role-Play: What Did You Change This Year?
- 72:07 Your Task for Today
- 72:57 Recap and Your Challenge
Full Transcript
Emily: Have you ever said, “From Monday, my life will be different”?
Paul: And then Wednesday came, and nothing was different at all.
Emily: If that sounds like you, you are in the right place.
Paul: Welcome to English Practice Daily. I’m Paul.
Emily: And I’m Emily. This episode is for A1 and A2 learners.
Paul: This podcast is here to help you speak real English for real days.
Paul: Today we talk about changing your life for the better.
Emily: But not in one big jump. We do it one day at a time.
Paul: We will walk through one normal day, from night to night.
Emily: And at the end, you will tell a small change in your own life.
Paul: In English, and out loud. If you want, repeat after us.
Emily: Paul, before we start, you have a story for us. Right?
Paul: I do. And it’s a little funny, and a little sad.
Emily: My favorite kind of story. Go on.
Paul: I remember last spring. I moved to a new apartment.
Emily: Oh, yes. The one near the river. I helped you carry the boxes.
Paul: Yes, you did. Thank you again for that.
Paul: So, new home. And I thought, new home, new me.
Emily: New home, new me. I know that feeling very well.
Paul: There is a big white board in my kitchen. It’s next to the fridge.
Paul: On the first Sunday night, I took a blue pen.
Paul: And I wrote fifteen rules for my new life on that board.
Emily: Fifteen rules. Tell us some of them, please.
Paul: Sure. No sugar. No coffee after two in the afternoon.
Paul: Study Spanish for one hour every evening. Call my mom every day.
Paul: No TV. Cook every meal at home. And there were nine more.
Emily: Wow. That’s a whole new person on one kitchen board.
Paul: I know. On Monday, I followed all fifteen rules. I felt great.
Emily: And on Tuesday?
Paul: On Tuesday, I followed maybe ten. On Wednesday, maybe five.
Emily: Oh no. I’m scared to hear about the end of the week.
Paul: By Friday of the second week, the board was different.
Paul: There was only a shopping list on it. Milk, eggs, bananas.
Emily: Ha. So the fifteen rules became milk, eggs, and bananas.
Paul: Exactly. But here is the interesting part. One rule stayed.
Emily: Only one? Which one stayed with you?
Paul: Rule number fourteen. Keys go in the blue bowl by the door.
Emily: The blue bowl. I’ve seen it. It’s a small one, right?
Paul: Yes. A small blue bowl. I come home, and the keys go in.
Paul: It takes two seconds. And now I never look for my keys in the morning.
Emily: That’s actually a big thing. I lose my keys all the time.
Paul: And that rule is still alive, six months later.
Emily: So the big plan died, and the tiny rule lived.
Paul: Yes. And that’s why I want to talk about this today.
Emily: I love it. So, here is our plan for this episode.
Emily: We will go through one normal day together.
Paul: The evening, your sleep, the morning, and your desk.
Emily: The people around you, and the moment you make a mistake.
Paul: Your small habits, and the bad days too.
Emily: And we will learn some useful words for each part.
Paul: Realistic, attention, consistency, setback, recovery, and more.
Emily: But first, I want to give you a small tool. A sentence pattern.
Paul: Oh, this is my favorite part of today.
Emily: When we talk about a change in our life, we can say three things.
Emily: I used to. Now I. And I’m trying to.
Paul: Let’s take them one by one. Slowly.
Emily: I used to. We use it for something we did many times before.
Emily: But we don’t do it now. It’s in the past.
Paul: So, for me, I used to write fifteen rules.
Emily: Good. And what do you do now?
Paul: Now I have one bowl for my keys.
Emily: Perfect. Listen again. I used to write fifteen rules. Now I have one bowl for my keys.
Paul: Repeat after us. I used to write fifteen rules.
Emily: I used to write fifteen rules.
Paul: Now I have one bowl for my keys.
Emily: Now I have one bowl for my keys.
Paul: Nice. Now the third one, Emily.
Emily: I’m trying to. We use it for a change that is not finished yet.
Emily: You are working on it. Some days are good, some days are not.
Paul: That’s true for most of my life, honestly.
Emily: Ha. Me too. For example, I’m trying to sleep earlier.
Paul: And I guess it’s not always easy.
Emily: Some nights, yes. Some nights, no. That’s why I say trying.
Paul: Say it with us. I’m trying to sleep earlier.
Emily: I’m trying to sleep earlier.
Paul: One more small note about pronunciation. Listen to used to.
Emily: In normal speech, it sounds like one soft word. Yoostuh.
Paul: I used to. I used to. We don’t say both T sounds strongly.
Emily: Try it with us. I used to walk. I used to cook. I used to worry.
Paul: I used to walk. I used to cook. I used to worry.
Emily: Good. And remember, after used to, the verb stays simple.
Paul: I used to play. Not I used to playing. Simple form.
Emily: That’s a common mistake, so don’t worry if you make it.
Paul: Just remember, used to plus the simple verb.
Paul: So we have three short tools. I used to. Now I. I’m trying to.
Emily: Keep them in your pocket. We will use them all through this episode.
Paul: Okay. Let’s start with a big question. Emily, what is a better life?
Emily: Hmm. That’s a big question for the morning.
Paul: I know. But many people think it’s a very big picture.
Emily: Right. A big house, a perfect job, lots of money.
Paul: A perfect body, a perfect partner, a perfect kitchen.
Emily: And when we can’t have all of that, we feel like we failed.
Paul: So what is it for you? In simple words.
Emily: For me, a better life is not a perfect life.
Emily: It’s sleeping a little better. Feeling a little calmer.
Emily: Being less in a hurry. And talking to myself in a kinder way.
Paul: That sounds much easier than a big house.
Emily: It is easier. And you can start today, not in ten years.
Paul: Can you describe a better day for you? Just a normal one.
Emily: Sure. In a better day, I wake up and I’m not already late.
Emily: I have time for a slow cup of tea before I leave.
Emily: At work, I can finish one important thing without stopping every minute.
Emily: In the evening, I talk to someone I love, even for five minutes.
Emily: And when I go to bed, I’m tired, but in a good way.
Paul: That doesn’t sound like a dream. It sounds like a normal Tuesday.
Emily: Exactly. That’s the point. It’s a normal day, just a little better.
Paul: And for me, a better day is a day with less rushing.
Paul: I don’t run to the bus. I don’t eat lunch in four minutes.
Paul: I don’t look for my keys. Well, that one is already fixed.
Emily: Thanks to the blue bowl.
Paul: Thanks to the blue bowl. So I think everybody’s better day is a little different.
Emily: That’s important. Your better day doesn’t need to look like my better day.
Paul: Right. Don’t copy someone else’s perfect morning from the internet.
Emily: Ask yourself instead. What would make my normal day a little easier?
Paul: Take a moment and think about one thing. Just one thing.
Paul: I want to give you a picture for this idea.
Emily: Oh good. You know I love your pictures.
Paul: Think about a necklace. A necklace made of small beads.
Emily: Like the one my grandmother wore. Little wooden beads.
Paul: Yes. Each bead is very small. Alone, it doesn’t look like much.
Paul: But you add one bead, and then another, and another.
Paul: And one day, you have a long and beautiful necklace.
Emily: I see where this is going. Each bead is one day.
Paul: Exactly. Your life is the necklace. Your days are the beads.
Emily: So if I want a better necklace, I need better beads.
Paul: Yes. And nobody makes a whole necklace in one morning.
Emily: You add one bead at a time. One day at a time.
Paul: That’s what I did wrong with my fifteen rules.
Paul: I tried to make the whole necklace on one Sunday night.
Emily: And it broke into pieces by Friday.
Paul: Into milk, eggs, and bananas. Yes.
Emily: So here is a sentence we want you to remember today.
Paul: We will say it three times in this episode.
Emily: Change one day. Then do it again.
Paul: Change one day. Then do it again.
Emily: Say it with us, slowly. Change one day. Then do it again.
Paul: I really like that. It feels small. It feels possible.
Emily: And that brings us to our first word. Realistic.
Paul: Realistic. It means you can really do it, in your real life.
Emily: Not in your dream life. In your normal, busy life.
Paul: My fifteen rules were not realistic. I have a job. I get tired.
Emily: Right. One hour of Spanish every night, after a long workday?
Paul: That’s a dream. Fifteen minutes on the bus is realistic.
Emily: Let’s make two short sentences with it.
Paul: My plan was not realistic.
Emily: My plan was not realistic.
Paul: I want a realistic goal.
Emily: I want a realistic goal.
Paul: Good. So how many changes should we try at one time?
Emily: I think one or two. Not more.
Paul: Why only one or two?
Emily: Because every change needs a little energy from you.
Emily: And you only have so much energy in one day.
Paul: That makes sense. Fifteen changes need fifteen little pieces of energy.
Emily: And by Tuesday, your energy is gone.
Paul: So we choose one or two changes that we can really keep.
Emily: Even on a bad day. Even when you’re tired.
Paul: Let me use our tool. I used to try fifteen changes at once.
Emily: And now?
Paul: Now I try one or two, and I keep them.
Emily: I like that sentence. Let’s say it together.
Paul: I used to try fifteen changes at once.
Emily: I used to try fifteen changes at once.
Paul: Now I try one or two, and I keep them.
Emily: Now I try one or two, and I keep them.
Paul: And here is another thing, Emily. Some days we don’t feel like it.
Emily: Oh, every week I have days like that.
Paul: On those days, we don’t need to feel excited.
Emily: We just do the small thing anyway. Even a smaller version.
Paul: For example, no fifteen minutes of Spanish? Then five minutes.
Emily: Or just one word. One word is still a bead on the necklace.
Paul: I think this is very important for English learners especially.
Emily: Because many learners stop completely when they miss a few days.
Paul: Yes. They think, I missed a week, so I’m not a real learner.
Emily: But a real learner is just someone who comes back.
Paul: I really like that. A real learner is someone who comes back.
Emily: Say it with us. A real learner is someone who comes back.
Paul: A real learner is someone who comes back.
Paul: Exactly. A small bead is still a bead.
Emily: I want to add one more thing about beads, Paul.
Paul: Please. I’m proud of my necklace picture.
Emily: Some beads will not be beautiful. Some days will be grey and boring.
Paul: That’s true. Not every day can be a good day.
Emily: But a grey bead is still part of the necklace. It still counts.
Paul: I like that. You don’t throw the necklace away because of one grey bead.
Emily: No. You just add the next bead tomorrow.
Emily: So, our first big idea. A better life is not perfect.
Paul: It’s a line of better days. And we change one day at a time.
Emily: Okay. Our day starts the night before. So let’s talk about sleep.
Paul: Sleep. The thing we all want, and the thing we all cut first.
Emily: That’s so true. When I’m busy, I sleep less. Every time.
Paul: Emily, I have a question for you. Why do tired people make bad choices?
Emily: Bad choices. Give me an example.
Paul: Like, when I’m tired, I eat chips for dinner.
Paul: I buy things online that I don’t need. I say yes to everything.
Emily: Oh, I know this. I think a tired brain is like a hungry shopper.
Paul: A hungry shopper. Tell me more.
Emily: Have you ever gone to the supermarket when you were very hungry?
Paul: Yes. Last week, actually. After work, at seven o’clock.
Emily: And what was in your basket at the end?
Paul: Cookies, two kinds of chips, a cake, and one sad tomato.
Emily: Ha. One sad tomato. That’s a perfect example.
Emily: When you’re hungry, everything sweet looks like a good idea.
Paul: And the vegetables look boring.
Emily: A tired brain is the same. It wants the easy thing, right now.
Paul: So when I’m tired, my brain shops like a hungry person.
Emily: Yes. It picks the fast and easy choice, not the good choice.
Paul: That explains a lot about my evenings, honestly.
Emily: So here is a useful phrase. Make a decision.
Paul: Make a decision. It means you choose what to do.
Emily: We say make a decision. Not do a decision.
Paul: Good point. Learners often say do a decision. It’s make.
Emily: Let’s say two sentences with it.
Paul: It’s hard to make a decision when I’m tired.
Emily: It’s hard to make a decision when I’m tired.
Paul: I make better decisions in the morning.
Emily: I make better decisions in the morning.
Paul: Okay, Emily. I know you changed something about your sleep.
Emily: I did. Can I use our tool from before?
Paul: Please do. I used to, now I.
Emily: I used to watch videos in bed until one in the morning.
Paul: Until one. Wow. Every night, I guess.
Emily: Almost every night. One video, then another, then another.
Emily: Then I looked at the clock, and it was one o’clock. And I felt terrible.
Paul: And in the morning?
Emily: In the morning I was like a hungry shopper all day.
Paul: So what do you do now?
Emily: Now, at ten thirty, I turn off the big light in my bedroom.
Emily: I only turn on the small lamp next to my bed.
Paul: Just the small lamp. Why does that help?
Emily: The room feels quiet and soft. It tells my body, it’s almost night.
Emily: Then I put out my clothes for tomorrow on the chair.
Emily: And I listen to one slow song. Only one.
Paul: Only one song. Not a whole playlist?
Emily: Not a whole playlist. That’s a dangerous road for me.
Paul: Ha. I understand. So is it working?
Emily: Most nights, yes. I’m usually asleep before eleven thirty now.
Paul: That’s a big change from one in the morning.
Emily: It is. But it didn’t happen in one night.
Emily: The first week, I turned off the light at ten thirty only twice.
Paul: Only twice. But you kept trying.
Emily: Yes. That’s why I said, I’m trying to sleep earlier.
Paul: Let’s repeat Emily’s sentences. I used to watch videos in bed.
Emily: I used to watch videos in bed.
Paul: Now I turn off the big light at ten thirty.
Emily: Now I turn off the big light at ten thirty.
Paul: And here is another small idea. Go to bed at the same time.
Emily: More or less the same time. Not exactly to the minute.
Paul: Right. Your body likes a pattern. Same time, same small steps.
Emily: Lamp, clothes, song. My body knows the steps now.
Paul: So for you listening, here is a question. What is one thing you can change tonight?
Emily: Just one thing. Not your whole evening.
Paul: Maybe you go to bed fifteen minutes earlier.
Emily: Or you choose one song, or one page, before you sleep.
Paul: Take a moment and think. What is your one thing?
Paul: By the way, Emily, I also changed something about my sleep.
Emily: Really? You never told me that.
Paul: It’s a small thing. I used to drink coffee at four in the afternoon.
Paul: Every day, around four, I was tired at work. So, more coffee.
Emily: And then at night you couldn’t sleep.
Paul: Exactly. I was in bed at eleven, but my eyes were wide open until one.
Emily: That’s like my videos, but with coffee.
Paul: Yes. Now I drink my last coffee before two o’clock.
Paul: At four, I drink water or a cup of tea without caffeine.
Emily: Was that one of your fifteen rules on the white board?
Paul: Ha, it was. Rule number two. It didn’t survive the first week.
Paul: But I tried it again later, alone, without the other fourteen rules.
Emily: And this time it worked.
Paul: This time it worked. Because it was the only change I was making.
Emily: That’s a really good lesson. The same change can fail with fourteen others.
Paul: And it can work when it’s alone. Yes.
Emily: Let’s repeat Paul’s sentence. I used to drink coffee in the afternoon.
Paul: I used to drink coffee in the afternoon.
Emily: Now I drink my last coffee before two.
Paul: Now I drink my last coffee before two.
Emily: You don’t need to tell anyone. Just choose it.
Paul: Good. That’s your first bead for tomorrow.
Emily: And remember, it doesn’t need to work perfectly on the first night.
Paul: Some nights, the old habit will win. That’s completely normal.
Emily: Just try again the next evening. Same small step.
Emily: Okay, the night is over. Good morning, Paul.
Paul: Good morning, Emily. Let’s talk about the morning, but in a different way.
Emily: A different way. I’m curious.
Paul: Not about breakfast or exercise. About attention.
Emily: Attention. Can you say what that means first?
Paul: Attention is your mind’s focus. Where your mind goes.
Paul: When you pay attention to something, your mind is with that thing.
Emily: Like now. I’m paying attention to you.
Paul: Thank you. I feel very important.
Emily: Ha. So why is attention important in the morning?
Paul: Let me give you a picture. Imagine a glass of water.
Emily: Okay. A glass of water.
Paul: When you wake up, it’s full. That’s all your attention for the day.
Emily: All of it. A full glass. I like that.
Paul: Now you pick up your phone. You read one message.
Paul: A little water goes out of the glass.
Emily: Oh no. And then I read the news.
Paul: More water goes out. Then a video. Then a funny picture.
Emily: Then a sad story about a dog.
Paul: Then an email from work. More and more water goes out.
Emily: So at nine o’clock, when I start real work…
Paul: Your glass is half empty. Maybe less.
Emily: That’s exactly how I feel some mornings. Tired before the day starts.
Paul: Your attention went to other places before you needed it.
Emily: That’s a strong picture, Paul. A glass of water.
Paul: And here is my story about this. I used to read the news in bed.
Emily: The moment you opened your eyes?
Paul: Yes. Eyes open, phone in my hand, news. Every morning.
Paul: And most news is about problems. So my morning started with worry.
Emily: That’s not a good first bead for the day.
Paul: No. So now I do something very simple.
Paul: Now, for the first ten minutes, I look out of the window.
Emily: Just look out of the window? Nothing else?
Paul: I put the water on for tea. And while it gets hot, I look outside.
Paul: I see the river. Some people walking dogs. Some birds.
Emily: That sounds really calm. I want that.
Paul: It’s only ten minutes. Then I can check my phone.
Emily: So you don’t stop using the phone. You just move it later.
Paul: Exactly. Ten minutes later. My glass stays full a little longer.
Emily: I like that it’s not an all or nothing rule.
Paul: Me too. All or nothing rules don’t work for me. You know that.
Emily: Yes. Fifteen rules on a white board. I remember.
Paul: Ha. So there is a nice phrase here. Clear my head.
Emily: Clear my head. It means to make your mind calm and not busy.
Paul: Looking out of the window helps me clear my head.
Emily: Say it with us. Looking out of the window helps me clear my head.
Paul: Looking out of the window helps me clear my head.
Emily: And the phrase pay attention to. Let’s practice it.
Paul: I want to pay attention to my morning.
Emily: I want to pay attention to my morning.
Paul: Now you, Emily. What takes your attention first in the morning?
Emily: Hmm. Honestly, messages from my sister. She wakes up very early.
Paul: And what do you do with them?
Emily: I used to answer them right away, still in bed.
Emily: Now I’m trying to answer them after breakfast.
Paul: I’m trying to. Good. Because it’s not finished yet.
Emily: Right. Some days I still answer in bed. She sends very funny pictures.
Paul: Ha. That’s hard to wait for.
Emily: It is. But most days, I wait.
Paul: So, listener, think about your morning glass of water.
Emily: What takes your attention first? Your phone, the news, emails?
Paul: You don’t need to stop it. Just move it ten minutes later.
Emily: Ten minutes for you, before the world comes in.
Paul: Some listeners will say, but my morning is very busy. I have children.
Emily: That’s a fair point. A parent’s morning is often like a small storm.
Paul: Then the ten minutes can be different. Maybe it’s two minutes.
Emily: Two minutes at the window, or two minutes with your coffee, before you check anything.
Paul: Or maybe your quiet moment is in the car, after you drop the children at school.
Emily: Yes. The important part is not the window. It’s protecting a little attention for yourself.
Paul: Find your own small window. Even a very small one.
Paul: And there’s one more place where attention is important. At work, or when you study.
Emily: Oh yes. My phone makes a little sound, and my mind jumps.
Paul: Then it takes a few minutes to come back to your work.
Emily: Sometimes I don’t come back at all. I start doing something else.
Paul: So here is a small idea. Put your phone in another room for twenty minutes.
Emily: Another room? That sounds hard for me.
Paul: Then put it in a drawer. Or face down, with no sound.
Emily: Face down, with no sound. Okay, that I can do.
Paul: Twenty minutes of full attention can do more than two hours of half attention.
Emily: That’s a nice sentence. Can you say it again, slower?
Paul: Twenty minutes of full attention can do more than two hours of half attention.
Emily: I tried this last week when I was writing a long report.
Emily: I put my phone in my bag, and the bag in the kitchen.
Paul: And how was it?
Emily: The first five minutes, I wanted to check it so much. Really.
Emily: But after that, it was quiet in my head. I finished the report before lunch.
Paul: That’s your glass of water staying full.
Emily: Yes. I used to answer every message at once. Now I’m trying to check them every hour.
Paul: Repeat after us. I put my phone face down when I work.
Emily: I put my phone face down when I work.
Paul: Okay. Morning is done. Now you sit down at your desk.
Emily: Ah, my desk. Please don’t look at my desk.
Paul: Ha. It can’t be that bad.
Emily: Right now? Papers, three pens, a plant, two cups, and a sock.
Paul: A sock. On your desk.
Emily: Don’t ask. It’s a long story.
Paul: Okay, I won’t ask. But this is our next idea. The things around you.
Emily: Our room, our desk, our home. The place where we spend our day.
Paul: I have a picture for this one too.
Emily: Of course you do.
Paul: Imagine that your room can talk.
Emily: My room can talk? Okay. That’s a little scary.
Paul: Every messy thing in your room is a small note to you.
Paul: The dirty cup says, wash me later. The papers say, read us later.
Emily: And the sock says, find my friend later.
Paul: Ha. Yes. And all these little notes speak at the same time.
Emily: Later, later, later. All day.
Paul: Exactly. You don’t hear them with your ears. But your mind hears them.
Emily: That’s true. When my desk is messy, I feel busy before I start working.
Paul: Because your room is talking to you all the time.
Emily: So a clean desk is a quiet room.
Paul: Yes. Fewer notes. Less noise in your head.
Emily: Now, Paul, your blue bowl is part of this, right?
Paul: Yes. My keys used to be everywhere. On the table, in my jacket, on the sofa.
Paul: Every morning they said, find us. And I was late twice a week.
Emily: And now they have one home. The blue bowl.
Paul: One thing, one place. The keys don’t talk to me anymore.
Emily: I love that. One thing, one place.
Paul: Do you have a change like that, Emily?
Emily: I do, actually. I used to leave papers all over my desk.
Emily: Bills, notes, letters, old shopping lists.
Paul: And now?
Emily: Now I have one paper box. A simple brown box from a shoe store.
Emily: Every evening, all the papers go into the box.
Paul: Every evening. How long does that take?
Emily: Maybe one minute. Then my desk has only my computer and my lamp.
Paul: And in the morning, a quiet desk says hello.
Emily: Yes. It’s like the room says, okay, you can start now.
Paul: You don’t need to clean your whole home for this.
Emily: Please don’t. Just choose one small place.
Paul: One corner of your desk. One shelf. One bowl for your keys.
Emily: I want to say something about the evening, too.
Paul: About the evening? For your desk?
Emily: Yes. Two minutes before bed, I look at my room.
Emily: I don’t clean everything. I just put back three things.
Paul: Three things. Give me an example.
Emily: A cup goes to the kitchen. A jacket goes on the hook. A book goes on the shelf.
Paul: That’s it? Only three things?
Emily: Only three. But in the morning, the room is a little quieter.
Paul: So it’s tonight helping tomorrow, again.
Emily: Yes. That idea keeps coming back today. Have you noticed?
Paul: I have. Tonight is a little gift for tomorrow morning.
Emily: Oh, that’s nice. Tonight is a gift for tomorrow morning.
Paul: Let’s say that one too. Tonight is a gift for tomorrow morning.
Emily: Tonight is a gift for tomorrow morning.
Emily: Let’s say two sentences about this.
Paul: A clean desk helps me feel calm.
Emily: A clean desk helps me feel calm.
Paul: I put my keys in one place.
Emily: I put my keys in one place.
Emily: Okay, but I still need to take care of that sock.
Paul: Ha. Maybe it goes in the paper box.
Emily: No, Paul. Socks don’t go in the paper box. That’s not a system.
Paul: So we have our sleep, our morning, and our desk. Now, the people.
Emily: The people around us. This one is a little more sensitive.
Paul: It is. But it’s important. Emily, does your mood change with different people?
Emily: Oh, yes. Very much. Some people make me feel light and happy.
Emily: And after time with some other people, I feel heavy and tired.
Paul: Me too. I think most people feel this.
Emily: I’m sure you have a picture for this one, Paul.
Paul: I do. Think about music in a coffee shop.
Emily: Oh, I spend a lot of time in coffee shops.
Paul: I know. So you know that some music helps you work.
Emily: Yes. Soft music, quiet piano. I can work for hours.
Paul: And some music makes you tired. Very loud, very fast.
Emily: Or the same song again and again. That drives me crazy.
Paul: People around us are a little like that music.
Paul: Some people help us feel calm and strong. Some people make us tired.
Emily: But I can’t always choose the music in a coffee shop.
Paul: That’s true. And you can’t always choose the people at work or in your family.
Emily: So what can I do?
Paul: You can choose where you sit. And you can choose your music at home.
Emily: Hmm. I like that. I can’t control everything, but I can choose some things.
Paul: Exactly. And one important thing. This is not about cutting people out.
Emily: Right. We are not saying, stop seeing your friends.
Paul: No. We just pay attention. After you see someone, how do you feel?
Emily: That’s a good, simple question to ask yourself.
Paul: Lighter or heavier. More hopeful or more tired.
Emily: Just notice it. You don’t need to do anything big.
Paul: And then maybe you spend a little more time with the people who make you feel lighter.
Emily: Can I tell my small change here?
Paul: Please. With our tool.
Emily: I have an old friend, Anna. We were in school together.
Emily: She always makes me laugh, and she always believes in me.
Paul: Sounds like soft piano music.
Emily: Ha. Yes, she is my soft piano. But we used to talk only twice a year.
Emily: On our birthdays. That’s it.
Paul: And now?
Emily: Now I call her every Thursday evening, for twenty minutes.
Paul: Every Thursday. That’s lovely.
Emily: It’s my favorite twenty minutes of the week.
Emily: After the call, I always feel lighter. Every single time.
Paul: That call means a lot to you.
Emily: It does. It’s meaningful.
Paul: Oh, that’s one of our words today. Meaningful.
Emily: Meaningful means important to you, with real value for you.
Paul: Not big, not expensive. Just important to you.
Emily: Let’s say it together. My Thursday call with Anna is meaningful.
Paul: My Thursday call with Anna is meaningful.
Emily: Now you can change the name. My call with blank is meaningful.
Paul: And one more sentence, about the people around us.
Emily: I feel lighter after I talk to her.
Paul: I feel lighter after I talk to her.
Emily: Paul, what about you?
Paul: Hmm. I used to have lunch at my desk, alone, every day.
Paul: Now I eat lunch with two people from my team on Mondays and Wednesdays.
Emily: Only two days?
Paul: Only two. Realistic, remember? On other days, I really need quiet.
Emily: Ha. I see. You use your own words against me.
Paul: Of course. That’s why we teach them.
Emily: Now, Paul, what about the people who make us feel heavy?
Paul: That’s a good question. And it’s not always easy.
Emily: Sometimes it’s a person we love. A cousin, a coworker, an old friend.
Paul: Right. We don’t want to lose them. And we shouldn’t.
Paul: But maybe we can change the music a little.
Emily: Change the music? How?
Paul: For example, I have a coworker who always complains at lunch.
Paul: About the weather, the boss, the traffic, everything.
Emily: Oh, I know that kind of lunch. I leave feeling grey.
Paul: Me too. So now I try to bring a new topic.
Paul: A good movie, a new restaurant, a funny story from the weekend.
Emily: And does it work?
Paul: Sometimes. Not always. But the lunch feels a little lighter.
Emily: That’s a nice idea. You can’t change the person, but you can change the topic.
Paul: Exactly. You can choose the next song sometimes.
Emily: Let’s say that sentence. I can change the topic.
Paul: I can change the topic.
Emily: And one more thing. We can be the soft piano for someone else.
Paul: Oh, I like that. We are music for other people too.
Emily: Yes. So maybe today, you can send one kind message to a friend.
Paul: Just two lines. Thinking of you. Have a good day.
Emily: It takes thirty seconds. And it can change someone’s whole evening.
Paul: Say it with us. I want to send a kind message today.
Emily: I want to send a kind message today.
Paul: You know, this reminds me of something important about English learners.
Emily: Oh, really. Tell me more.
Paul: The people around you can also help your English.
Emily: That’s true. A friend who says, good try, is very different from a friend who laughs.
Paul: Exactly. If you can, find one person who is patient with your English.
Emily: A classmate, a coworker, or someone in an online group.
Paul: Someone who listens, and is happy when you try.
Emily: That person is like soft piano music for your English.
Emily: Okay. Now let’s go to a harder moment in the day.
Paul: The moment when you make a mistake.
Emily: Ugh. I don’t like that moment.
Paul: Nobody does. But it comes every day.
Emily: Right. You say the wrong word, you forget something, you are late.
Paul: And then a little voice in your head starts talking.
Emily: Oh, I know that voice. It’s not very nice.
Paul: No. So I want to give you a picture from sports.
Emily: Sports? You? You don’t play any sports.
Paul: I watch them. That counts a little.
Emily: Ha. Okay. Go on.
Paul: In a football game, there is a referee.
Emily: The person with the whistle.
Paul: Yes. What does a referee do?
Emily: They watch the players. When someone breaks a rule, they blow the whistle.
Paul: Exactly. A referee only talks when you do something wrong.
Paul: They never say, good pass. They never say, nice try.
Emily: That’s true. Only the whistle. Only the mistakes.
Paul: Now, a team also has a coach.
Emily: The coach is on the side of the field, shouting.
Paul: Yes. But the coach shouts different things.
Paul: Try again. Move to the left. Good, now faster. You can do this.
Emily: So the coach helps you play better next time.
Paul: Yes. Here is my question. In your head, are you a referee or a coach?
Emily: Oh. That’s a hard question. Mostly a referee, I think.
Paul: Me too. Let me tell you about last Tuesday.
Emily: Another Tuesday story.
Paul: I have many Tuesdays. So, as you know, I’m learning Spanish.
Emily: Yes. You go to a class on Tuesday evenings.
Paul: Right. And last Tuesday, the teacher asked me my age.
Paul: Easy question, right? But I said the words in the wrong order.
Paul: And it meant something very strange. The whole class laughed.
Emily: Oh no. Poor Paul.
Paul: The laughing was okay. It was friendly. But on the way home…
Emily: The referee started.
Paul: Yes. The whistle. You are so stupid. You studied this. Why can’t you remember?
Emily: That’s not kind. You would never say that to a student.
Paul: Never. So now I’m trying to change the voice.
Paul: Now, when I make a mistake, I try to be the coach.
Emily: What does your coach say?
Paul: Something short. Okay, wrong order. Next time, age goes first.
Emily: That’s so much better. It’s calm, and it helps.
Paul: Yes. The referee makes me want to stop. The coach makes me want to try again.
Emily: That’s a big difference. One mistake is not a reason to stop.
Paul: Exactly. It’s information. Now I know what to practice.
Emily: Let’s turn this into sentences for our listeners.
Paul: Here’s a referee sentence. I’m so bad at English.
Emily: And here is the coach sentence. I made a mistake. I can fix it next time.
Paul: Say the coach sentence with us. I made a mistake.
Emily: I made a mistake.
Paul: I can fix it next time.
Emily: I can fix it next time.
Paul: And with our tool. I used to be a referee in my head.
Emily: I used to be a referee in my head.
Paul: Now I’m trying to be a coach.
Emily: Now I’m trying to be a coach.
Emily: I really like this picture. I will remember the whistle.
Paul: Every time you hear the whistle, change the voice to the coach.
Emily: So, listener, what does your referee say? Think about one sentence.
Paul: And then make it a coach sentence. Short and kind and useful.
Emily: Can I tell you my referee story too? It’s from work.
Paul: Of course. I told you mine. It’s only fair.
Emily: Last month I gave a short presentation to my team.
Emily: It was ten minutes. I practiced it three times at home.
Paul: That sounds well prepared.
Emily: It was. But in the middle, my computer stopped working.
Emily: The screen went black. Everyone looked at me. I didn’t know what to say.
Paul: Oh no. That’s a horrible feeling.
Emily: It was only thirty seconds. Then I fixed it and finished.
Emily: My boss said, good job. My team asked questions. Everything was fine.
Paul: But the referee in your head didn’t agree.
Emily: No. For two days, the referee said, everyone thinks you are not ready.
Emily: You looked so silly. You should never present again.
Paul: Two days of whistles for thirty seconds of black screen.
Emily: Exactly. When I say it now, it sounds crazy.
Paul: So what would your coach say?
Emily: Hmm. My coach would say, the computer had a problem, not you.
Emily: Next time, bring the slides on a small USB stick, just in case.
Paul: That’s great. It’s kind, and it’s a real plan for next time.
Emily: And it’s true. The referee was not even telling the truth.
Paul: That happens a lot. The referee is loud, but not always right.
Emily: So, listener, here is a small practice. I say a referee sentence. You make it a coach sentence.
Paul: Referee sentence: I’m too slow at learning English.
Emily: Coach sentence: I’m learning step by step. I know more than last year.
Paul: Referee sentence: I always forget new words.
Emily: Coach sentence: I forget some words. I can review them again tomorrow.
Paul: Referee sentence: My accent is terrible.
Emily: Coach sentence: People can understand me. My accent is part of me.
Paul: I like that last one a lot. Your accent is part of you.
Emily: Say it with us. I’m learning step by step.
Paul: I’m learning step by step.
Emily: Okay. Now we come to the middle of the day, and our habits.
Paul: The small things we do again and again.
Emily: Paul, do you have a favorite song?
Paul: A favorite song? That’s a surprise question.
Emily: It’s for a reason, I promise.
Paul: Sure. Lots of old songs from when I was a teenager.
Emily: Can you sing all the words?
Paul: Not all the words. But the chorus, yes. Always.
Emily: Why do you think that is?
Paul: Hmm. Because the chorus comes back. Three, four, five times in one song.
Emily: Exactly. The chorus is short, but it comes back again and again.
Emily: So it stays in your head forever. That’s my picture for today.
Paul: Oh, you have a picture this time. Nice.
Emily: A good habit is like the chorus of a song.
Emily: It’s not long. It’s not special. But it comes back every day.
Paul: And because it comes back, it stays.
Emily: Yes. That’s consistency. Doing the same small thing again and again.
Paul: Consistency. Let’s say the word slowly. Con-sis-ten-cy.
Emily: Consistency.
Paul: So consistency is more important than one big day.
Emily: Right. One big day is like one long verse. You forget it.
Emily: But a small chorus every day, you remember forever.
Paul: Give us some examples, Emily.
Emily: Sure. Five new English words while you wait for the rice to cook.
Paul: That’s a nice one. You wait anyway.
Emily: Calling your mom every Sunday evening.
Paul: Standing up and drinking a glass of water after every hour at the computer.
Emily: Oh, I need that one. I sit for hours like a statue.
Paul: Ha. These are all small. Very small.
Emily: That’s the point. Small enough to come back every day.
Paul: And what about motivation? People talk about it a lot.
Emily: Motivation is the feeling that you really want to do something.
Paul: I think motivation is like the weather.
Emily: Like the weather? Sometimes sunny, sometimes rainy?
Paul: Yes. Some days you feel it. Some days you don’t. You can’t control it.
Emily: So we can’t wait for sunny days only.
Paul: Right. The chorus comes back, rain or sun.
Emily: So consistency is the chorus, and motivation is the weather.
Paul: Nice. I’m going to remember that.
Emily: And here’s a small idea that helps a lot. Prepare in the evening.
Paul: Like your clothes on the chair.
Emily: Yes. Three small things for tomorrow. Bag by the door. Clothes ready.
Emily: And one important task, written on a small piece of paper.
Paul: So in the morning, you don’t need to think so much.
Emily: Exactly. Tomorrow morning is a little easier because of tonight.
Paul: And this is a good place for our sentence again.
Emily: Yes. Our sentence for today. Say it with us.
Paul: Change one day. Then do it again.
Emily: Change one day. Then do it again.
Paul: Because the “do it again” part is the chorus.
Emily: Let’s practice two sentences with consistency.
Paul: Consistency is more important than motivation.
Emily: Consistency is more important than motivation.
Paul: I learn five words every day.
Emily: I learn five words every day.
Emily: Now, a small question for you, listener. What is your chorus?
Paul: What small thing do you already do every day?
Emily: Maybe it’s already there. Maybe you just need to notice it.
Emily: For example, I make tea every morning. That’s already a chorus.
Paul: You never forget your tea. Never in your life.
Emily: Never. So now I use my tea time for something small.
Emily: While the water gets hot, I say three English sentences about my day.
Paul: While the water gets hot. That’s smart. The tea is already your chorus.
Emily: Yes. I just add one small line to a song I already sing.
Paul: I love that. You don’t start a new song. You add one line.
Emily: It’s much easier than finding a new time in the day.
Paul: Because your day is already full.
Emily: Exactly. Most people say, I don’t have time. And it’s true.
Paul: But they have the time while the tea gets hot. Or while the rice cooks.
Emily: Or on the bus. Or while they brush their hair.
Paul: These little moments are everywhere. You just need to see them.
Emily: Say it with us. I practice English while the water gets hot.
Paul: I practice English while the water gets hot.
Paul: So now we have small habits. But how do we know what we want?
Emily: That’s about goals. Let’s talk about a clear goal.
Paul: Many people say, I want to be healthier.
Emily: Or, I want to improve my English.
Paul: These are nice ideas. But they don’t tell you what to do on Monday.
Emily: Right. They are like a cloud. Soft and big, but you can’t hold it.
Paul: So a clear goal answers three small questions.
Emily: What will I do? When will I do it? And how often?
Paul: Let’s try one. Emily, what is a clear goal for you?
Emily: I want to cook at home more. That’s my cloud.
Paul: Okay. Now make it clear.
Emily: I cook at home on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Paul: Perfect. What, when, how often. All in one short sentence.
Emily: And it’s realistic for me. I’m free on those evenings.
Paul: Say it with us. I cook at home on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Emily: I cook at home on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Emily: Now you, Paul. What is your cloud?
Paul: My cloud is, I want to speak better Spanish.
Emily: That’s a very big, soft cloud. Make it clear, please.
Paul: Okay. I study Spanish for ten minutes on the bus, on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Emily: What, when, how often. Very good.
Paul: And it’s realistic, because I’m on the bus anyway.
Emily: Listener, now it’s your turn. Think of your cloud.
Paul: Maybe it’s, I want to be healthier, or I want to read more.
Emily: Then make it clear. What will you do? When? And how often?
Paul: For example, I walk to the shop on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
Emily: Or you can say, I read two pages before bed, five nights a week.
Paul: Say your clear goal out loud now. One sentence is enough.
Paul: And you can keep track of your goal. Very simply.
Emily: A paper calendar on the wall. A small tick on each day.
Paul: Not a big app with charts. Just a tick.
Emily: The tick is not there to prove you are perfect.
Paul: It’s there to show you that you are moving.
Paul: I use a paper calendar for my Spanish. On the fridge, under a magnet.
Emily: A real paper one? Not on your phone?
Paul: Paper. Because I see it every time I open the fridge.
Paul: And I open the fridge a lot. Maybe too much.
Emily: Ha. So your calendar gets a lot of attention.
Paul: It does. And a row of ticks makes me smile a little.
Emily: But here’s a warning. Some people get very upset about one empty day.
Paul: Oh yes. They see one empty box, and they want to throw the calendar away.
Emily: That’s the referee again, with a calendar in his hand.
Paul: Ha. So remember, the empty box is not a red card.
Emily: It’s just an empty box. The next box is clean and waiting for you.
Emily: Now, Paul, what happens when the plan breaks?
Paul: The bad days. Let’s talk about them, because they will come.
Emily: Last month I got sick. A bad cold. Four days in bed.
Paul: Oh, I remember. You sounded terrible on the phone.
Emily: I did. And of course, no cooking. Only soup from a can.
Paul: That’s normal when you’re sick.
Emily: But then I looked at my calendar. Four empty days.
Emily: And the referee came back. You failed. The plan is finished.
Paul: That’s the moment many people give up.
Emily: Yes. I almost did. I thought, maybe I’m just not a cooking person.
Paul: I have a picture for this moment.
Emily: I was waiting for it.
Paul: Imagine it’s eight in the morning. You are wearing a nice white shirt.
Paul: And you spill your coffee on it. A big brown spot.
Emily: Oh no. That happened to me once before a job interview.
Paul: What did you do? Did you go back to bed for the whole day?
Emily: No. I changed my shirt and went to the interview.
Paul: Exactly. The coffee didn’t ruin the whole day. It ruined one shirt.
Emily: So a bad day is like coffee on the shirt.
Paul: Yes. You change the shirt, and you keep going.
Paul: That’s a setback. A setback is a problem that moves you back a little.
Emily: It’s not the end. It’s a small step back.
Paul: And the most important word here is recovery.
Emily: Recovery means coming back after a problem.
Paul: And the real question is, how fast do you come back?
Emily: So what did I do? On the fifth day, I felt a little better.
Emily: I didn’t cook a big dinner. I made one simple egg dish.
Paul: One egg dish. Good. Small recovery.
Emily: And I put a tick on the calendar. It felt really good.
Paul: That’s quiet progress. Nobody saw it. But it happened.
Emily: Quiet progress. I like that phrase. You don’t need to show it to anyone.
Paul: Let’s say these sentences together.
Emily: A bad day is not the end.
Paul: A bad day is not the end.
Emily: My recovery is getting faster.
Paul: My recovery is getting faster.
Emily: And one with our tool. I used to give up after one bad week.
Paul: I used to give up after one bad week.
Emily: Now I come back with one small step.
Paul: Now I come back with one small step.
Emily: And here’s my tip for recovery. Make the first step back very small.
Paul: Smaller than before the problem?
Emily: Yes. After four days in bed, I didn’t cook three meals.
Emily: I made one egg dish. Five minutes. Very easy.
Paul: Because a big first step feels too heavy after a break.
Emily: Exactly. A small first step says, I’m back. That’s all.
Paul: And then the next day, maybe a little more.
Emily: Yes. Step by step, you come back to your normal plan.
Paul: Let’s say this one. My first step back is small.
Emily: My first step back is small.
Emily: Okay, Paul. We walked through a whole day together.
Paul: The night, the morning, the desk, the people, the mistakes, the habits.
Emily: And the bad days. Now I want to do something different.
Paul: It’s time for our listeners to speak a little.
Emily: But first, we show you how. We each tell three small changes.
Paul: Changes from this year. Small, but meaningful to us.
Emily: We use our three tools. I used to. Now I. And it makes me feel.
Paul: And after each one, we stop for a moment. Then you say your own.
Emily: Or you just repeat ours. Both are fine.
Paul: I’ll start. Change number one.
Paul: I used to eat lunch at my desk every day. Now I eat with my team twice a week.
Paul: It makes me feel less alone at work.
Emily: That’s a nice one. Less alone at work. Now you, listener. One change about lunch, or work.
Paul: Take your time.
Emily: Good. My change number one.
Emily: I used to keep my phone on my pillow. Now my phone sleeps on my desk.
Emily: It makes me feel more rested in the morning.
Paul: More rested. That means less tired. Now it’s your turn.
Emily: Say your sentence. I used to, now I.
Paul: Okay. Change number two for me.
Paul: I used to buy coffee on the way to work every morning.
Paul: Now I make coffee at home and take it in a small bottle.
Emily: Why did you change that?
Paul: Money. It saves me about forty dollars a month.
Paul: And it makes me feel more in control of my money.
Emily: In control. That’s a nice phrase. It means you decide, not the problem.
Paul: Now you. Maybe something about money or shopping.
Emily: My change number two.
Emily: I used to say yes to every plan on the weekend.
Emily: Now I keep Sunday morning free, just for me.
Emily: It makes me feel calm for the new week.
Paul: I love that. Sunday morning just for you. Now, your sentence about the weekend.
Emily: You can start with, I used to.
Paul: Number three. This one is about Spanish.
Paul: I used to study only the night before my class.
Paul: Now I study ten minutes on the bus, three days a week.
Paul: It makes me feel ready, not nervous.
Emily: Ready, not nervous. I like that sentence a lot.
Paul: Your turn. Something about learning, maybe English.
Emily: My number three is about English too, in a way.
Emily: I used to write my work emails very slowly, with a dictionary.
Emily: Now I’m trying to write the first version fast, and fix it later.
Emily: It makes me feel braver.
Paul: Braver. That’s a beautiful word. Now you, about learning.
Emily: Remember, if your change is not finished yet, say I’m trying to.
Paul: Here are some more ideas, if you need them.
Emily: I used to skip breakfast. Now I eat a banana before work.
Paul: I used to sit on the sofa all evening. Now I take a short walk after dinner.
Emily: I used to be afraid to speak English. Now I’m trying to say one sentence every day.
Paul: I used to check my phone at every red light. Now I keep it in my bag in the car.
Emily: That last one is very important, by the way. Please don’t text and drive.
Paul: Very true. Okay, choose one idea, or make your own.
Emily: And say it out loud, two times. The second time is always easier.
Paul: Great job. You just told three changes in English.
Emily: That’s not small. That’s real speaking.
Paul: Now let’s go back to all our words for today. One more time, slowly.
Emily: But not as a list. We will connect each word to a story from today.
Paul: Because a word with a story is easier to remember.
Emily: Repeat after us. First, realistic.
Paul: Remember my white board with fifteen rules?
Emily: Fifteen rules for a new life. Not realistic.
Paul: One bowl for my keys. Very realistic.
Emily: Realistic means you can really do it, in your normal life.
Paul: Say it with us. My plan was not realistic.
Emily: My plan was not realistic.
Paul: Now I choose a realistic goal.
Emily: Now I choose a realistic goal.
Paul: Next, make a decision.
Emily: Remember the hungry shopper with cookies, chips, and one sad tomato?
Paul: That was me. Please don’t remind me.
Emily: Ha. When we are tired, it’s hard to make a decision.
Paul: It’s make, not do. Make a decision.
Emily: Say it with us. I make better decisions after a good sleep.
Paul: I make better decisions after a good sleep.
Emily: Next, attention.
Paul: Remember the glass of water? Full in the morning.
Emily: And every message takes a little water out.
Paul: Attention is where your mind goes. Your focus.
Emily: And we say, pay attention to.
Paul: Say it with us. I pay attention to my first ten minutes.
Emily: I pay attention to my first ten minutes.
Paul: And with it, clear my head.
Emily: Paul looks out of the window while the water gets hot for his tea.
Paul: It helps me clear my head. My mind gets calm and not busy.
Emily: Say it with us. A short walk helps me clear my head.
Paul: A short walk helps me clear my head.
Emily: Next, meaningful.
Paul: Remember Emily’s Thursday call with her friend Anna?
Emily: Twenty minutes, every Thursday. My soft piano music.
Paul: Something meaningful is important to you. It has real value for you.
Emily: Say it with us. This call is meaningful to me.
Paul: This call is meaningful to me.
Emily: Next, consistency.
Paul: Remember the chorus of a song?
Emily: Short, simple, and it comes back again and again.
Paul: So you remember it forever. That’s consistency.
Emily: Doing the same small thing, again and again, even when you don’t feel like it.
Paul: Say it with us. Consistency beats one big day.
Emily: Consistency beats one big day.
Paul: Beats here means is stronger than. Consistency is stronger than one big day.
Emily: Next, setback.
Paul: Remember the coffee on the white shirt?
Emily: And my four days in bed with a cold.
Paul: A setback is a problem that moves you back a little.
Emily: A small step back. Not the end of the road.
Paul: Say it with us. I had a setback, but I didn’t stop.
Emily: I had a setback, but I didn’t stop.
Paul: Next, recovery.
Emily: Remember my simple egg dish on the fifth day?
Paul: One small dish, one tick on the calendar.
Emily: Recovery is coming back after a problem.
Paul: Say it with us. My recovery was fast.
Emily: My recovery was fast.
Paul: Next, quiet progress.
Emily: Remember Paul’s keys? Every morning, they are in the blue bowl.
Paul: Nobody sees it. Nobody claps. But my mornings are better.
Emily: Quiet progress is a change that nobody notices, but it’s real.
Paul: Say it with us. Quiet progress is still progress.
Emily: Quiet progress is still progress.
Paul: Next, used to.
Emily: Remember, used to is for something you did many times in the past.
Paul: But you don’t do it now.
Emily: Like me. I used to watch videos in bed until one in the morning.
Paul: Say it with us. I used to watch videos in bed.
Emily: I used to watch videos in bed.
Paul: And the last one. Step by step.
Emily: Step by step means slowly, one small part after another.
Paul: Like the beads on the necklace. One bead, one day.
Emily: Say it with us. I change my life step by step.
Paul: I change my life step by step.
Emily: That’s eleven words and phrases. Well done.
Paul: Don’t worry if you don’t remember all of them.
Emily: Choose two or three. Use them this week.
Paul: Now, Emily, I think it’s quiz time.
Emily: Before the quiz, take a short breath. You did a lot of listening today.
Paul: And you are still here. That already says something good about you.
Emily: Yes. I love this part. Listener, it’s your turn to think.
Paul: Emily reads a short story. Then I ask you which word it is.
Emily: You will have three seconds to answer. Say it out loud if you can.
Paul: Our words are realistic, consistency, setback, recovery, attention, and quiet progress.
Emily: Ready? Story number one.
Emily: Tom was sick for one week. He stopped going to the gym.
Emily: The next Monday, he went back. He did only twenty minutes.
Paul: Which word is it?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: It’s recovery. Tom came back after a problem.
Paul: And he came back with a small step, not a big one. Good job, Tom.
Emily: Notice that Tom didn’t wait for a perfect Monday with lots of energy.
Paul: Right. He started again with what he had that day.
Emily: Story number two.
Emily: Mia makes a plan for this week. She writes twenty goals.
Emily: Run every day, read three books, learn to paint, and cook every meal.
Paul: What is wrong with her plan? Which word?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: It’s not realistic. Twenty goals in one week is too much.
Paul: Mia is trying to make the whole necklace in one week. One or two goals is enough.
Emily: Story number three.
Emily: Ben listens to one English podcast every time he washes the dishes.
Emily: He has done this for three months. Almost every day.
Paul: Which word is it?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: It’s consistency. A small thing, again and again.
Paul: Ben has a chorus. Washing dishes plus one podcast.
Emily: And because he does it with the dishes, he doesn’t need to remember it.
Paul: The dishes remind him. That’s the beauty of it.
Emily: Story number four.
Emily: Lan misses her train in the morning. She arrives at work twenty minutes late.
Emily: She thinks, my whole day is ruined.
Paul: Which word? What happened to Lan?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: It’s a setback. A small problem, a small step back.
Paul: Remember the coffee on the shirt. Change the shirt and keep going.
Emily: Lan can still have a good afternoon.
Paul: Maybe she sends a short message to her manager, takes a deep breath, and starts working.
Emily: One problem in the morning doesn’t decide the evening.
Emily: Story number five.
Emily: Sam wakes up. Before he gets out of bed, he checks his phone.
Emily: Messages, news, videos. Thirty minutes later, he is still in bed.
Paul: Which word is this story about?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: It’s attention. Sam’s glass of water is half empty before breakfast.
Paul: Maybe Sam can try ten minutes without the phone first.
Emily: Or he can charge his phone on the other side of the room.
Paul: Then he needs to get out of bed to check it. Very clever.
Emily: And the last one. Story number six.
Emily: Every Sunday afternoon, Kim cleans one drawer in her kitchen. Only one.
Emily: Nobody notices. But after two months, her whole kitchen is easy to use.
Paul: Which word?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: It’s quiet progress. Nobody saw it, but it was real.
Paul: Kim is a bit like my blue bowl. Small, quiet, and it works.
Paul: How many did you get right? Six out of six? Five?
Emily: Any number is good. You listened, you thought, and you answered in English.
Paul: Now let’s do a short role play. A real conversation.
Emily: Imagine two people at work. It’s lunchtime.
Paul: One person asks, what is one thing you changed this year?
Emily: First, we show you. Then it’s your turn.
Paul: Round one. I’ll ask, and Emily answers.
Paul: Hey, Emily. You look really relaxed these days.
Emily: Thanks. I think I’m sleeping better.
Paul: Oh, nice. What did you change?
Emily: I used to watch videos in bed until very late.
Emily: Now I turn off the big light at ten thirty.
Paul: When did you start doing that?
Emily: About two months ago. It was hard in the first week.
Paul: And how do you feel now?
Emily: I feel more rested. And I make better decisions at work.
Paul: That’s great. Maybe I should try it too.
Emily: You should. Start with fifteen minutes earlier. That’s realistic.
Paul: Okay, that was round one. Now round two.
Emily: This time, you are me. Paul asks you the questions.
Paul: You answer about your own life. Use I used to, and now I.
Emily: After each question, there will be a pause. That’s your time to speak.
Emily: Don’t worry about mistakes. Be your own coach, not a referee.
Paul: Ready? Here we go.
Paul: Hey! You look happy these days. What did you change this year?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: For example, you can say, I used to stay up late. Now I go to bed at eleven.
Paul: Nice. When did you start?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: For example, I started last month. Or, I started in the summer.
Paul: And how do you feel now?
Emily: One… two… three…
Emily: For example, I feel calmer. Or, I feel more in control.
Paul: That’s really nice to hear. Good for you.
Emily: And that’s the end of the role play. You just had a real conversation in English.
Paul: Three questions, three answers. That’s real speaking.
Emily: And if you paused and said nothing, that’s okay too.
Paul: Listen to the example answers again, and try next time.
Emily: Every time you try, the words come a little faster.
Emily: If you want, go back and do it again with a different change.
Paul: Or try it with a friend, a classmate, or someone in your family.
Emily: One person asks the three questions. The other person answers.
Paul: Then you change places. It takes only two or three minutes.
Emily: And you can use it in real life too. It’s a very natural small talk question.
Paul: True. What did you change this year? People love to talk about that.
Emily: It’s much more interesting than talking about the weather.
Paul: Ha. Unless you’re from my town. We really love talking about the weather.
Emily: Then talk about the weather, and then ask about their changes. Perfect combination.
Paul: Now, we have one small task for you. Something to do today.
Emily: Tonight, do one small thing for tomorrow. Just one.
Paul: Choose one place for your keys. Or put your papers in one box.
Emily: Or set a time to turn off the big light. Something very small.
Paul: Then say one sentence out loud about it. I used to, but now I.
Emily: For example, I used to look for my keys every morning. But now I put them in one bowl.
Paul: That sentence sounds familiar.
Emily: Ha. It’s your sentence, Paul. You can borrow it, listener.
Paul: And here is our sentence for today, one last time.
Emily: Say it slowly with us.
Paul: Change one day. Then do it again.
Emily: Change one day. Then do it again.
Paul: One more time, please, all together.
Emily: Change one day. Then do it again.
Paul: Okay. Let’s put our day together in three short ideas.
Emily: One. A better life is many better days. You don’t need a perfect life.
Paul: Two. Small things around you matter. Your sleep, your desk, your people.
Emily: Three. When you make a mistake, be a coach, not a referee. And come back fast.
Paul: And between all three ideas, there is one simple thread.
Emily: Small, and again. Small, and again.
Paul: That’s really all there is. No magic, no secret plan.
Emily: Just one better day, and then another one.
Paul: And now we have a question for you. Please answer in the comments.
Emily: What is one small thing you used to do, and what do you do now?
Paul: Use this pattern. I used to blank. Now I blank.
Emily: One or two sentences are enough. Don’t worry about perfect English.
Paul: We read the comments, and we love to see your changes.
Emily: Paul, let’s each write an example first.
Paul: Sure. I used to keep fifteen rules on my kitchen board. Now I keep one.
Emily: Ha. And the board still has a shopping list on it.
Paul: It does. Milk, eggs, and bananas. Some things never change.
Emily: My example. I used to talk to Anna twice a year. Now I call her every Thursday.
Paul: That’s a good one. Now it’s your turn. Write your sentence below.
Emily: In the next episode, we will practice more real English for everyday life.
Paul: If this episode helped you, please subscribe, so you can find us next time.
Emily: Thank you for staying with us until the end. That’s consistency too.
Paul: Good night, good morning, or good afternoon, wherever you are.
Emily: See you next time. Bye, everyone.
Paul: Bye.