Become a Better Communicator in English: Six Calm Habits for Meetings, Calls and Chats

Your English is fine, the other person says “Sorry, what?”, and you talk faster. The episode opens with exactly this (00:02), and Paul admits it is his own habit: “And the next thing you do is talk faster.” Emily’s answer is short: “Which only makes it worse. Your heart beats louder than your voice.” (00:12)

So this is not a grammar episode and there are no big words in it. For about 40 minutes Paul and Emily walk through six small habits for staying calm when you speak: slow down, let go of what you cannot control, take a breath, pause before you answer, listen to understand, and stop worrying about being judged. Each habit has one picture to remember and three phrases you can use in a meeting, on a call, or at a dinner table.

The episode is for B1 and B2 learners (00:22). The sentences are short and the speed is friendly. Every phrase is said slowly first, and you are invited to repeat it out loud.

Watch the episode: Watch the episode on YouTube

Time: about 40 minutes to listen. The practice below takes about 20 minutes. The chapter list at the bottom lets you listen one habit at a time.

Before you listen: think of the last time someone asked you to repeat something in English. What did you do next: speak faster, speak slower, or say nothing? After the episode, check whether your answer has changed.

How to use this page: listen once for the stories. Then come back to the phrase table and say each phrase aloud, and replay the quiz (27:57) with the video paused after every question. The full transcript is at the bottom if a line goes too fast.

What You’ll Learn

• The four key words of the episode: calm, steady, come across and get your point across
• Why a calm voice helps people understand you (the glass of muddy water)
• Habit 1, slow down: every sentence needs a small stop, like a bus stop for your words
• Habit 2, let go: you hold the string of the kite, not the wind
• Habit 3, breathe: a breath is a comma for your voice, and the ten-second breath
• Habit 4, pause: a yellow light for your mouth, before you speak or type
• Habit 5, listen to understand: choose one radio station, the person who is speaking
• Habit 6, stop worrying about being judged: say Thanks for your patience, not Sorry for my English
• Phrases for repair: Let me put it simply, To put it another way, In other words, I’ll rephrase that
• The line of the episode: Breathe first, then speak.

Key Idea

Breathe first, then speak.

Paul says it first at 14:29, Emily repeats it, and it comes back at 18:00 (“Breathe first, then type”), at 27:50 and at the end (39:48). The idea behind it is simple: your English does not get worse under pressure, your speed does. One breath gives your ideas time to settle, so the other person can see them.

Four Key Words for Calm Speaking (00:50)

The hosts begin with vocabulary that carries the whole episode. Calm means quiet inside, even when things are busy (00:59). Steady means smooth and even, not up and down: a steady voice does not jump, rush or shake (01:09). Come across is the way other people see you (01:24), and get your point across means making your idea clear (01:39). Two smaller words follow: stressed out (01:52), very tense and worried, and freak out (02:07), to panic. Emily’s example for the second one is the very situation of the opening: do not freak out when someone says “Sorry, what?” (02:09).

Paul’s Story: The Tuesday Video Call (02:30)

Paul’s story is a little embarrassing, and that is why it works. At ten o’clock last Tuesday he had a video call with a new client. He had read his notes again and again, his coffee went cold, and when the call began he explained “the plan, the price, the schedule” all in one breath. The client asked him to repeat it, and Paul repeated it faster. The client said he still did not catch it (03:25), and then asked a third time (03:33). By then Paul was “so stressed out” that he talked even faster (03:39).

Emily draws the conclusion: “So the problem was not your English.” (04:01) Paul agrees: “My English was fine. My speed was the problem.” (04:04) The words were good and the delivery was not, which is why the habits that follow are about how you come across, not about grammar.

Why Calm Helps People Understand You (04:21)

Emily explains with a glass of muddy water (04:27). Shake it and you see nothing; put it down and the mud sinks, the water clears. A calm voice is the glass that is not moving: the idea was always there, but now people can see it. Paul adds an important correction: calm does not mean quiet, or slow like a robot. It only means the other person can catch your idea (05:03).

Three useful words come in here: misunderstanding (05:19), clarify (05:24) and respond. After that the hosts say it plainly: “A clear idea will always beat a fast sentence.” (06:04) Two phrases make a second chance easy, Let me put it simply (06:15) and To put it another way (06:37), and Emily calls them “a small door” that lets the other person walk back in.

Habit 1: Slow Down (07:21)

Paul says this is the hardest habit for him, because his brain is fast and his mouth wants to keep up. Emily’s picture is a bus stop (07:43): your words are the people who want to get on, the listener is the bus, and if the bus never stops nobody gets on. A pause is the bus stop for your words, and one second is enough. Paul proves it with one sentence said two ways (08:25). Said fast, Emily heard only “Friday” and “report”. Said with stops, she heard every idea, and it was not even slow: “Slow does not mean sleepy. It means clear stops.” (08:50)

The three phrases are Let me take this step by step (09:00), I’ll say it in a simpler way (09:16) and Here’s the short version (09:31). Then Emily plays a manager asking for an update, and Paul gives it in three steps, each with its own stop: the contract is signed, the technical team starts on Monday, the first report arrives in two weeks (09:56).

Habit 2: Let Go of What You Cannot Control (10:37)

What can you not control in a conversation? How fast the other person talks, what kind of day they had, whether they like your accent. Paul’s picture is a kite (11:06): you hold the string, not the wind, and if you try to control the wind the kite falls. Your next sentence is the string; everything else is the wind.

The phrases for this habit are I can only choose my next sentence (11:55), That’s up to them (12:09) and Let’s focus on what we can change (12:20). Paul’s example (12:45) is a teammate who says the budget is too small. You cannot change the budget, but you can change the plan, and a comment that could start an argument becomes a step toward a solution.

Habit 3: Take a Deep Breath (13:12)

Emily calls this her favorite habit. Her picture: a breath is a comma for your voice (13:28). In writing a comma says “wait a moment, there is more”, and in speaking a breath does the same job. The hosts do the exercise together (13:56): in through the nose for three seconds, hold for one, out slowly for five. It takes about ten seconds, your shoulders go down, and your voice becomes lower and steadier. Then comes the sentence “for your pocket”: Breathe first, then speak. (14:29)

The phrases are Hold on, let me gather my thoughts (14:45), Okay. Here’s what I mean. (15:04) and Let me start again, more slowly (15:12). They buy you about three seconds of quiet, and Paul notes that people do not mind: they think you are being careful.

Habit 4: Pause Before You Answer (15:40)

This habit is for the moment when someone upsets you, with a rude message or a comment you do not like. The picture is a yellow light (15:55): it does not say stop forever, it says slow down and look. Emily’s story happened last Friday at four in the afternoon (16:18). A neighbor wrote in the building’s group chat that she was always loud in the evenings, and it was not true. Her face went hot (16:49) and she typed a long, angry answer with many exclamation marks. Her finger was on the send button when she thought “yellow light”. She put the phone down, walked to the window and counted to three (17:14). In those three seconds she remembered that the neighbor works at night. She deleted the angry message and sent: “Thank you for telling me. Can we talk about it tomorrow?” (17:33) He answered that he was sorry, he was tired.

The phrases are Before I answer, can I ask one question? (18:05), I’d like to understand first (18:21) and Let’s pause there for a moment (18:29). None of them says no. They say wait. Paul adds an office example (18:51): a colleague writes that this is the third missed deadline: breathe, then ask which deadline, and the talk turns from feelings to facts.

Habit 5: Listen to Understand (19:25)

Many of us listen while writing our own answer, and Emily admits she does it all the time (19:43). Her picture is a radio with many stations in your head: “My grammar is bad”, “What is my answer?”, “Do I look nervous?” (20:16). Choose one station, the person who is speaking, and turn the others down: “You are not preparing. You are receiving.”

The phrases are If I understand correctly… (20:37), So what you’re saying is… (20:50) and Tell me more about that (21:04). The hosts act out two scenes. In the first (21:11) Paul is a tired coworker whose manager moved the deadline; in the second (21:52) he is a customer whose laptop has not arrived. Emily does not give advice at once: first she listens, then she checks, then she answers. When people feel heard they answer more calmly too, so a misunderstanding becomes a conversation instead of a fight.

Habit 6: Stop Worrying About Being Judged (22:40)

This is where many learners get stuck, and the habit starts with a sentence we say too often: “Sorry for my English.” (22:52) Emily’s picture is a busy café at lunch (23:15): everybody looks at their own phone, nobody looks at you, most people are busy in their own café. Paul disagrees a little (23:52): some people do judge. Emily agrees, and says to go back to habit two: that’s up to them.

The one small change is to say “Thanks for your patience.” (24:17) instead. One sentence is about sorry and the other about thank you, and a thank you makes both people feel good. The other phrases are In other words (24:39), Let me try that again (24:49), which says “I can fix this” and not “I am sorry for being bad”, and I’ll rephrase that (25:01).

Review: The Call, Rebuilt (25:07)

Before the review, Emily makes a point about confidence (25:16). Many learners wait for confidence and then try to communicate well, but it often works the other way round: good habits come first and confidence follows. Then the hosts rebuild Paul’s Tuesday call one habit at a time (25:56): he slows down, lets go of the wind, takes a breath, uses a yellow light when the client is sharp, listens to one radio station, and ends with Thanks for your patience. “Same English. Same person. Totally different result.” (27:02) They finish with the best line from each habit, said slowly (27:12), and with the pocket sentence once more.

Quiz: Five Situations (27:57)

The quiz works like this: Emily asks, there are about three seconds of silence, and Paul gives an answer and a phrase that fits. If you are walking or driving, answer in your head; at home, pause the video and say your answer aloud. The five situations are a client who talks very fast (28:42), a second “Sorry, what?” (29:24), a rude message in a group chat (30:02), six people talking at once in a meeting (30:34), and a talk in front of strangers when your English feels small (31:08).

Sample Meeting Conversation (31:50)

Paul plays himself in an online meeting and Emily plays Ms. Carter, an unhappy client whose project is late and who was told nothing for two weeks (32:02). Paul uses the phrases one at a time, at the right moment: he gathers his thoughts, asks one question before answering, checks what she means, takes the delay step by step, and promises a short email every morning at nine. Afterwards Emily lists what he did well (33:37): he did not rush, he checked her meaning before defending himself, and he said thank you instead of sorry. Her advice is that you do not need all the phrases: “You need the right one at the right time.” (33:54)

Role Play: Your Turn (34:37)

Two rounds, each with a pause of about three seconds for your own answer. In round one (34:56) your manager says they did not understand your plan; in round two (35:25) new friends at dinner ask why you started learning English. The example answers are short and steady, and Paul’s tip for the dinner answer is “Do not try to say everything” (36:04): give one reason, then ask back, “And you? Why did you start?” (36:23) The hosts also have you say the five strongest phrases slowly (36:38) and add a reminder: “Clear first, fast later.” (37:28)

Today’s Action and Your Challenge (37:39)

Today’s task is one small thing: take one breath before your first answer in a real conversation (37:46), and say Breathe first, then speak. in your head if you like. The hosts then run through the six habits and their six pictures (38:17), and ask for a comment: which habit is number one for you this week, and which phrase will you use tomorrow? (38:59) They end with a promise and a warning (39:33): a podcast cannot change your life in one day, but six small habits repeated for a few weeks can change your conversations.

Useful Language from the Episode

Phrase	Meaning	Example from the episode
calm (00:59)	quiet inside, even when things are busy	“The train was late, but she stayed calm.”
steady (01:09)	smooth and even, not up and down	“He gave a steady answer, even under pressure.”
come across (01:24)	the way other people see you	“You may feel nervous inside, but you come across as friendly.”
get your point across (01:39)	make your idea clear	“You get your point across without confusion.”
stressed out (01:52)	very tense and worried	“I was so stressed out before the exam that I forgot my pen.”
clarify (05:24)	make something clearer	“I want to clarify one point.”
Let me put it simply (06:15)	say it again in a shorter way	“The project has many steps. Let me put it simply. We need two more weeks.”
To put it another way (06:37)	give the same idea a second chance	“We are behind schedule. To put it another way, we need more time.”
Let me take this step by step (09:00)	answer a long question in parts	“Let me take this step by step. First, we need the budget.”
Here’s the short version (09:31)	give the main news first	“Here’s the short version. The meeting moved to Monday.”
Let’s focus on what we can change (12:20)	move from the problem to a solution	“Let’s focus on what we can change.”
Hold on, let me gather my thoughts (14:45)	buy three seconds of quiet	“Hold on, let me gather my thoughts.”
Before I answer, can I ask one question? (18:05)	pause before an upset answer	“Before I answer, can I ask one question?”
I’d like to understand first (18:21)	polite but firm: facts before reply	“I’d like to understand first. Which deadline do you mean?”
If I understand correctly (20:37)	check what you heard	“If I understand correctly, you need the file before noon.”
So what you’re saying is (20:50)	say the idea back in your own words	“So what you’re saying is, the price is still open.”
Tell me more about that (21:04)	a warm invitation to say more	“Tell me more about that.”
Thanks for your patience (24:17)	confident and polite instead of sorry	“Thanks for your patience.”
In other words (24:39)	say the point again in plain terms	“The plan is too big. In other words, we need to cut it.”
Let me try that again (24:49)	fix a sentence without apologizing	“Let me try that again.”

Mistake and Repair

Often said	Better	Why
Repeating the same sentence faster after Sorry, what?	Let me put it simply. or I’ll say it in a simpler way.	Speed was the problem, not your English (03:17 and 04:04).
Typing an angry answer at once	Put the phone down, count to three, then write a short reply	A long answer when you are upset becomes a long problem (17:14 and 30:02).
Defending yourself before you know what the other person means	Before I answer, can I ask one question?	A yellow light gives you time and moves the talk to facts (18:05).
Planning your answer while the other person is still talking	If I understand correctly…	Choose one radio station; checking what you heard is part of listening (19:43 and 20:37).
Sorry for my English.	Thanks for your patience.	A thank you makes both people feel good (24:17).
Trying to say everything in one answer	One reason, then And you?	People at a dinner need one clear idea, not your life story (36:04 and 36:23).
Using all the phrases at once (written for this page)	One phrase at the right moment	“You need the right one at the right time.” (33:54)

Practice with the Episode

1. Which habit helps?

Match each situation to a habit, then say a phrase that fits.

1. A client talks very fast and you cannot follow.
2. Someone says “Sorry, what?” for the second time.
3. You get a rude message in a group chat.
4. Six people talk at once in a meeting.
5. You must speak in front of strangers and your English feels small.

Answers (from the quiz, 27:57)

1. Listen to understand (and slow the call down): If I understand correctly, you need the file by noon.
2. Take a deep breath, slow down and simplify: Let me put it simply. or I’ll say it in a simpler way.
3. Pause, like a yellow light, and do not press send: Thank you for telling me. Can we talk about it tomorrow?
4. Let go of what you cannot control: Let’s focus on what we can change.
5. Stop worrying about being judged: Thanks for your patience. and Let me try that again.

2. Choose the phrase

Fill each gap with one phrase from the table above.

1. Your answer has three parts. “___. First, we need the budget.”
2. Your first answer was too long. “The project has many steps. ___. We need two more weeks.”
3. Someone says something sharp in a meeting. “___?”
4. A colleague describes a problem and you want to show you listened. “___, the deadline moved to tomorrow.”
5. You lose your words in the middle of a sentence. “___.”
6. You were late with a reply, and you want to sound confident, not guilty. “___.”

Sample answers

1. Let me take this step by step.
2. Let me put it simply.
3. Before I answer, can I ask one question?
4. So what you’re saying is… or If I understand correctly…
5. Let me try that again.
6. Thanks for your patience.

3. Say it again, not faster

Read the situation, then rewrite the reply so that it does not just repeat the same words faster.

1. A client says “Sorry, could you repeat that?” after you said: The plan is ready and the price is fixed and the schedule starts Monday.
2. A friend says “Sorry, what?” after you said: I could not come because the thing at work took longer than we planned.

Sample answers (written for this page)

1. Of course. Let me put it simply. The plan is ready. The price is fixed. We start on Monday.
2. To put it another way, work ran late, so I could not come.

4. Say it out loud

1. Do the ten-second breath from 13:56 with the hosts (in for three, hold for one, out for five), then say Breathe first, then speak. once.
2. Replay the role play (34:37), pause after each question, and answer in two short sentences before Paul does.
3. Choose one habit and one phrase for tomorrow, and write them in the comments (38:59).

Keep Practicing

Has someone ever asked you to repeat yourself and you did not know what to change? Read When Someone Says “Sorry, What?”: How to Say It Again Clearly in English, a short guide with five moves for saying the same idea in a new, clearer shape, with exercises and answers.

Chapters

• 00:00 Have You Ever Heard “Sorry, What?”
• 00:50 Four Key Words for Calm Speaking
• 02:30 Paul’s Story: The Tuesday Video Call
• 04:21 Why Calm Helps People Understand You
• 07:21 Habit 1: Slow Down
• 10:37 Habit 2: Let Go of What You Cannot Control
• 13:12 Habit 3: Take a Deep Breath
• 15:40 Habit 4: Pause Before You Answer
• 19:25 Habit 5: Listen to Understand
• 22:40 Habit 6: Stop Worrying About Being Judged
• 25:07 Review: The Call, Rebuilt
• 27:57 Quiz: Five Situations
• 31:50 Sample Meeting Conversation
• 34:37 Role Play: Your Turn
• 37:39 Today’s Action and Your Challenge

Full Transcript

Emily: Have you ever had the right words in English, but the other person still said, “Sorry, what?”

Paul: Yes. And the next thing you do is talk faster.

Emily: Which only makes it worse. Your heart beats louder than your voice.

Paul: If that sounds like you, you are in the right place.

Emily: Welcome to English Practice Daily. I’m Emily.

Paul: And I’m Paul. This episode is for B1 and B2 learners.

Emily: Today we talk about becoming a better communicator in English.

Paul: Not with bigger words. With a calmer way of speaking.

Emily: We will walk through six small habits. Each habit comes with three phrases.

Paul: You can use them in a meeting, on a call, or at a dinner table.

Emily: And if you want, you can repeat after us. Out loud is best.

Paul: Okay. Before the habits, let’s start with four key words.

Emily: Good idea. These four words will carry us through the whole episode.

Paul: The first word is calm. Calm means quiet inside, even when things are busy.

Emily: Here is an example. The train was late, but she stayed calm.

Paul: The second word is steady. Steady means smooth and even, not up and down.

Emily: A steady voice does not jump. It does not rush and it does not shake.

Paul: Let’s hear it in a sentence. He gave a steady answer, even under pressure.

Emily: The third phrase is come across. It means the way other people see you.

Paul: For example, you may feel nervous inside, but you come across as friendly.

Emily: And that is the whole point. How you come across matters a lot.

Paul: The fourth phrase is get your point across. It means making your idea clear.

Emily: You have a good idea, and you get your point across without confusion.

Paul: One more small phrase today. Stressed out. It means very tense and worried.

Emily: I was so stressed out before the exam that I forgot my pen.

Paul: Two more small words. Relaxed means easy and loose, with no tension in your body.

Emily: And freak out means to panic. Do not freak out when someone says, “Sorry, what?”

Paul: Ha. I believe it. And that phrase is going to matter in a minute.

Emily: Wait, why? Do you have a story for us?

Paul: I do. It is a little embarrassing, but it is true.

Emily: My favorite kind. Go on, tell us.

Paul: I remember last Tuesday. I had a video call with a new client at ten o’clock.

Emily: Ten in the morning. Did you have coffee?

Paul: I did. A big cup. By the time the call started, it was already cold.

Emily: Because you were busy getting ready?

Paul: Yes. I was reading my notes again and again. I wanted everything perfect.

Emily: Okay. So the call begins. What happens?

Paul: The client says hello, and I start talking right away. Very fast.

Paul: I explain the plan, the price, the schedule. All in one breath.

Emily: Oh no. I can already hear it.

Paul: And he says, “Sorry, could you repeat that?” So I repeat it.

Emily: Slower, I hope.

Paul: No. Faster. Because I was nervous and I wanted to finish.

Emily: Paul. That is the opposite of what you want.

Paul: I know. Then he says, “Sorry, I still did not catch that.”

Emily: That is two times now.

Paul: And a third time. He said, “Could you say it one more time, please?”

Emily: Three times. What did you do after that?

Paul: Honestly? I was so stressed out that I talked even faster.

Emily: Ha. I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I have done the same thing.

Paul: It’s okay. I laughed about it later. Not during the call.

Emily: How did the call end?

Paul: He was kind. He said, “Please send me an email.” And I did.

Emily: So the problem was not your English.

Paul: Right. My English was fine. My speed was the problem.

Emily: That is the important part. The words were good, but the delivery was not.

Paul: And that is why today’s habits matter. They are not about grammar.

Emily: They are about how you come across when the pressure is on.

Paul: So let’s start with the big question. Why does being calm help other people understand you?

Emily: I think of it like a glass of muddy water.

Paul: A glass of muddy water. Go on.

Emily: When you shake it, you cannot see anything. It is all cloudy.

Paul: And when you put it down?

Emily: The mud slowly goes to the bottom. And the water becomes clear.

Paul: So a calm voice is like a glass that is not moving.

Emily: Exactly. Your idea is still there. But now people can see it.

Paul: That makes sense. When I talk fast, my ideas are in the mud.

Emily: And when you slow down, the ideas go to the bottom. They become clear.

Paul: Let me say something important here. Calm does not mean you talk less.

Emily: Right. Calm does not mean quiet or slow like a robot.

Paul: Calm means the other person can catch your idea. That is all.

Emily: Let me add three useful words for this episode. A misunderstanding is a small problem of meaning between two people.

Paul: To clarify means to make something clearer. For example, I want to clarify one point.

Emily: And to respond means to answer. A calm person responds, but a stressed person only reacts.

Paul: Misunderstanding, clarify, respond. Keep these three words with you.

Paul: Think about the last time you were nervous in English.

Emily: Maybe at work, maybe at a shop, maybe with a new friend.

Paul: Your brain says, “Hurry up.” And your mouth listens.

Emily: But the other person is not in a hurry. They only want to understand.

Paul: So the real goal is not speed. The goal is a clear idea.

Emily: A clear idea will always beat a fast sentence.

Emily: And you do not need many new words for this. Two simple phrases are enough.

Paul: The first one is, “Let me put it simply.”

Emily: Let me put it simply. Say it with me, please.

Paul: Let me put it simply.

Emily: You can use it when your first answer was too long or too complicated.

Paul: For example, “The project has many steps. Let me put it simply. We need two more weeks.”

Emily: Nice. Short and clear. The second phrase is, “To put it another way…”

Paul: To put it another way. This one gives you a second chance with the same idea.

Emily: Here is an example. “We are behind schedule. To put it another way, we need more time.”

Paul: Say it with us. To put it another way.

Emily: These two phrases are like a small door. They let the other person walk back in.

Paul: And think about my call. If I had said, “Let me put it simply,” what would have changed?

Emily: Maybe he would not have asked you three times.

Paul: Maybe. And maybe I would not have felt so stressed out.

Emily: That is the plan for today. Six habits, and each habit is a small door.

Paul: So let’s open the first one.

Emily: Habit number one. Slow down.

Paul: It sounds simple, but it is the hardest one for me.

Emily: Why is it so hard to slow down?

Paul: Because my brain is fast. My mouth wants to keep up with it.

Emily: But your listener is not inside your brain.

Paul: Right. They only hear what comes out of your mouth. One word at a time.

Emily: Let me give you a picture. Imagine a bus stop.

Paul: A bus stop. Okay.

Emily: Your words are the people who want to get on the bus.

Paul: And the listener is the bus?

Emily: Yes. But a bus has to stop. If it never stops, nobody can get on.

Paul: Ah. So a pause is the bus stop for your words.

Emily: Exactly. Without a stop, your ideas just fly past the listener.

Paul: I like that. Every sentence needs a small stop at the end.

Emily: And you do not need a long stop. One second is enough.

Paul: Let me try something. I will say the same sentence two ways.

Emily: Fast first, please.

Paul: I think we can finish the report by Friday if we start now and the team helps and I send the plan today and we skip the long meeting.

Emily: Ha. I heard “Friday” and “report.” That was all.

Paul: Now slowly. I think we can finish the report by Friday. If we start now. And the team helps.

Emily: Much better. I could hear every idea. And it was not even slow.

Paul: That is the secret. Slow does not mean sleepy. It means clear stops.

Emily: So here are three phrases for this habit.

Paul: The first one is, “Let me take this step by step.”

Emily: Let me take this step by step. Repeat with us.

Paul: Let me take this step by step.

Emily: Use it when your answer has many parts. For example, “Let me take this step by step. First, we need the budget.”

Paul: The second phrase is, “I’ll say it in a simpler way.”

Emily: I’ll say it in a simpler way. Again, please.

Paul: I’ll say it in a simpler way.

Emily: This is good when you see a confused face, or you hear, “Sorry, what?”

Paul: And the third one is, “Here’s the short version.”

Emily: Here’s the short version. I use this one a lot.

Paul: Here’s the short version. The meeting moved to Monday.

Emily: Short, clear, calm. That is how you come across as steady.

Paul: Let me show how this sounds in a real situation. Emily, you are my manager.

Emily: Okay. Paul, I need an update on the new customer project, please.

Paul: Of course. Let me take this step by step. First, the contract is signed.

Emily: Good. That is important news. What is next?

Paul: Second, the technical team starts on Monday. Third, the first report arrives in two weeks.

Emily: That was very clear. I understood every step, and you did not sound nervous.

Paul: Because every step had its own small stop. One idea, one stop.

Emily: In a difficult conversation, that structure is a gift for your listener.

Paul: It also gives you time to think about the next idea.

Emily: So slowing down helps both people. The listener understands, and you feel stronger.

Paul: Okay. Habit number two. Let go of what you cannot control.

Emily: This one is a big one. And it is not only about English.

Paul: Let’s make it about English. What can you not control in a conversation?

Emily: Many things. How fast the other person talks. What kind of day they had.

Paul: Whether they understand you the first time. Whether they like your accent.

Emily: Right. You can only control your own words.

Paul: Let me use a picture too. Think of a kite.

Emily: A kite in the wind. I love kites.

Paul: When you fly a kite, you hold the string. You do not hold the wind.

Emily: Nobody can hold the wind.

Paul: Exactly. If you try to control the wind, you get tired and the kite falls.

Emily: But if you hold the string, the kite goes up by itself.

Paul: In a conversation, your sentence is the string. The rest is the wind.

Emily: That is beautiful, Paul. Did you think of that yourself?

Paul: Yes, on a walk last weekend. I was watching kids in the park.

Emily: So the habit is to let go of the wind.

Paul: Yes. Let go of things you cannot control, and keep hold of your next sentence.

Emily: Let’s learn three phrases for this.

Paul: First, “I can only choose my next sentence.”

Emily: I can only choose my next sentence. Repeat after us.

Paul: I can only choose my next sentence.

Emily: You can even say it quietly to yourself, before you speak.

Paul: Second, “That’s up to them.”

Emily: That’s up to them. It is short and strong.

Paul: Use it when you worry about what the other person thinks. That’s up to them.

Emily: Third, “Let’s focus on what we can change.”

Paul: Let’s focus on what we can change. This one is perfect for meetings.

Emily: For example, when a team is arguing about a mistake from last month.

Paul: Someone says, “Let’s focus on what we can change.” And the room gets calmer.

Paul: Before we move on, one more example for this habit.

Emily: Go ahead. Make it a situation from real life.

Paul: Imagine a teammate says, “Your idea will not work. The budget is too small.”

Emily: That is a stressful comment. Most people begin to defend themselves.

Paul: But you can choose another response. “Let’s focus on what we can change.”

Emily: Then you move the conversation toward a solution, not an argument.

Paul: I cannot change the budget. But I can change the plan.

Emily: That is the kind of communication professionals respect.

Emily: Good. Now habit number three. And I think this one is my favorite.

Paul: Take a deep breath.

Emily: Ha. You said it before I did.

Paul: But I mean it. Take a deep breath before you speak.

Emily: Let me explain with another picture. A breath is a comma for your voice.

Paul: A comma for your voice.

Emily: In writing, a comma tells the reader, “Wait a moment, there is more.”

Paul: And in speaking, a breath does the same thing.

Emily: Without commas, a long sentence is hard to read.

Paul: And without breaths, a long answer is hard to hear.

Emily: So let’s do it together. It takes about ten seconds.

Paul: Okay. Breathe in through your nose, for three seconds. One, two, three.

Emily: Hold it for one second. One.

Paul: Now breathe out slowly, for five seconds. One, two, three, four, five.

Emily: Do you feel it? Your shoulders go down.

Paul: And your voice becomes lower, and slower, and more steady.

Emily: That is the exact feeling you want before an important answer.

Paul: And here is a sentence to carry in your pocket. Breathe first, then speak.

Emily: Breathe first, then speak. Say it with us.

Paul: Breathe first, then speak.

Emily: I will use that sentence a few more times today. So keep it close.

Paul: Now three phrases for this habit.

Emily: The first one is, “Hold on, let me gather my thoughts.”

Paul: Hold on, let me gather my thoughts. Repeat after us.

Emily: Hold on, let me gather my thoughts. It buys you three seconds of quiet.

Paul: And nobody minds. In fact, people think you are careful.

Emily: The second phrase is, “Okay. Here’s what I mean.”

Paul: Okay. Here’s what I mean. Use it after your breath, when you start again.

Emily: The third one is simple. “Let me start again, more slowly.”

Paul: Let me start again, more slowly. Polite and calm.

Emily: Now think about Paul’s video call. What if he used these?

Paul: I would say, “Hold on, let me gather my thoughts. Okay. Here’s what I mean.”

Emily: And the client would hear a steady person.

Paul: Instead of a fast, stressed out person.

Emily: Exactly. And you can use that next time too. Same breath, same phrases.

Paul: Okay. Habit number four. Pause before you answer.

Emily: This one is different. This is about what happens when someone upsets you.

Paul: Like a rude message, or a comment you do not like.

Emily: And the picture for this habit is a yellow light.

Paul: A yellow light at the traffic lights.

Emily: A yellow light does not say, “Stop forever.” It says, “Slow down and look.”

Paul: So three seconds. Look at the road. Then decide.

Emily: Yes. A pause is a yellow light for your mouth.

Paul: Tell me a story about this, Emily. I think you have one.

Emily: I do. I remember last Friday. It was around four in the afternoon.

Paul: Friday at four. The most tired hour of the week.

Emily: Exactly. I was in my kitchen, making tea. My phone made a noise.

Paul: A message?

Emily: Yes, in our apartment building group chat. A neighbor wrote about me.

Paul: About you? What did he say?

Emily: He said that I was always loud in the evenings. And it was not true.

Paul: Oh no. And everyone in the building could read it.

Emily: Everyone. I felt my face go hot. I started typing right away.

Paul: What did you type?

Emily: A very long answer. It was angry. It had many exclamation marks.

Paul: And did you send it?

Emily: No. My finger was on the button. And then I thought, yellow light.

Paul: Ha. Good instinct.

Emily: Thank you. I put the phone down. I walked to the window. I counted to three.

Paul: And what happened in those three seconds?

Emily: I remembered that he works at night. Maybe he sleeps in the day.

Paul: So maybe the noise was a different problem.

Emily: Yes. I deleted the angry message. And I wrote a short one instead.

Paul: What did you write?

Emily: “Thank you for telling me. Can we talk about it tomorrow?”

Paul: That is calm and clear. And you came across as kind.

Emily: And he answered, “Yes, sorry, I was tired.” So it ended well.

Paul: Imagine if you pressed send on the first one.

Emily: I know. I would still be fixing it today.

Paul: So that is the lesson. Breathe first, then speak.

Emily: Or type. Same rule. Breathe first, then type.

Paul: Now three phrases for this habit.

Emily: The first one is, “Before I answer, can I ask one question?”

Paul: Before I answer, can I ask one question? Repeat after us.

Emily: Before I answer, can I ask one question? It gives you time to think.

Paul: The second phrase is, “I’d like to understand first.”

Emily: I’d like to understand first. It is polite, but it is firm.

Paul: The third one is, “Let’s pause there for a moment.”

Emily: Let’s pause there for a moment. It is good for hot meetings.

Paul: Use it when two people start talking at the same time.

Emily: And all three phrases are yellow lights. They do not say no. They say wait.

Paul: Let me add one more small example, from the office.

Emily: Good. Give us a deadline situation.

Paul: A colleague writes, “This is the third time you missed the deadline.”

Emily: That is a hard message to read. Your stomach drops.

Paul: Yellow light. Take a breath. Then answer, “I’d like to understand first. Which deadline do you mean?”

Emily: And suddenly the conversation is about facts, not about feelings.

Paul: Then you can clarify, apologize if it is needed, and offer a clear plan.

Emily: That is professional communication. Calm, specific, and respectful.

Paul: And all of it started with three seconds of silence.

Emily: Habit number five. Listen to understand.

Paul: Some people call this being present.

Emily: Be present. It means you are really here, with the person in front of you.

Paul: Not in your own head, planning your next sentence.

Emily: I do that all the time. Someone is talking, and I am writing my answer.

Paul: And then I miss the second half of what they said.

Emily: Exactly. The picture for this habit is a radio.

Paul: A radio with many stations?

Emily: Yes. In your head, there are many stations playing at the same time.

Paul: One station says, “My grammar is bad.” Another says, “What is my answer?”

Emily: Another says, “Do I look nervous?” It is very noisy.

Paul: So what is the habit?

Emily: Choose one station. The person who is speaking. Only that one.

Paul: Turn the other stations down.

Emily: Yes. You are not preparing. You are receiving.

Paul: And what happens when you do that?

Emily: Your answer becomes easier. Because now you really know the question.

Paul: Let’s learn three phrases for this one.

Emily: The first is, “If I understand correctly…”

Paul: If I understand correctly. Repeat after us.

Emily: If I understand correctly, you need the file before noon.

Paul: The second is, “So what you’re saying is…”

Emily: So what you’re saying is. And then you repeat the idea in your own words.

Paul: For example, “So what you’re saying is, the price is still open.”

Emily: The third is, “Tell me more about that.”

Paul: Tell me more about that. This one is warm. It makes people feel heard.

Emily: Let me show you a small conversation. Paul, you are my coworker.

Paul: Okay. I am tired and I have a problem.

Emily: Tell me more about that.

Paul: My manager changed the deadline again. Now it is tomorrow.

Emily: So what you’re saying is, you have one day instead of three.

Paul: Yes. And I have two other tasks as well.

Emily: Thank you. Now I understand. Let’s find a plan together.

Emily: Let me add one more example, because listening is the hardest habit to practice.

Paul: Okay. Now I am the customer, and I have a difficult situation.

Emily: Go ahead, Paul. I am listening.

Paul: I ordered a laptop two weeks ago, and it still has not arrived. I am really disappointed.

Emily: Tell me more about that. When did they promise the delivery?

Paul: Last Friday. And nobody answered my emails about the delay.

Emily: If I understand correctly, you were promised Friday, and you received no reply.

Paul: Yes, exactly. And you did not interrupt me once.

Emily: That is the point. When people feel heard, they respond more calmly too.

Paul: And a misunderstanding becomes a conversation, not a fight.

Emily: It also gives you better information, so your answer is more professional.

Paul: Notice what Emily did. She did not give advice right away.

Emily: Right. First I listened. Then I checked. Then I answered.

Paul: Habit number six. The last one. Stop worrying about being judged.

Emily: This is where many English learners get stuck.

Paul: Because we think, “They will judge my English.”

Emily: And we say, “Sorry for my English.” Again and again.

Paul: I did that for years. Sorry for my English. Sorry for my bad grammar.

Emily: But here is the truth. Your listener has a long day of their own.

Paul: A full inbox, a tired mind, many radio stations. Like us, a minute ago.

Emily: Let me give you a picture. Imagine a busy café at lunch.

Paul: Many tables, many people.

Emily: Everybody is looking at their own phone. Nobody is looking at you.

Paul: And you are sitting there thinking, “Everyone is watching me.”

Emily: But they are watching their screens. They are busy with their own worlds.

Paul: That is a good way to say it. Most people are in their own café.

Emily: Yes. Everyone in that café is busy with their own day. So you can speak, and make a small mistake, and the café goes on.

Paul: I like that. But Emily, I want to disagree a little.

Emily: Go ahead.

Paul: Some people do judge. A boss, a teacher, someone rude.

Emily: That is true. Some people do. And that is okay.

Paul: So what do we do about those people?

Emily: We go back to habit two. Let go. That’s up to them.

Paul: Ah. So the habits connect.

Emily: They do. And here is one small change that helps a lot.

Paul: Stop saying, “Sorry for my English.”

Emily: Say, “Thanks for your patience.”

Paul: Thanks for your patience. Repeat after us.

Emily: Thanks for your patience. It sounds confident, and it is polite.

Paul: One sentence is about sorry. The other is about thank you.

Emily: And a thank you makes both people feel good.

Paul: Now the other two phrases for this habit.

Emily: The second one is, “In other words…”

Paul: In other words. For example, “The plan is too big. In other words, we need to cut it.”

Emily: The third phrase is, “Let me try that again.”

Paul: Let me try that again. This one is so useful.

Emily: It says, “I can fix this.” Not, “I am sorry for being bad.”

Paul: And if you want another option, “I’ll rephrase that.”

Emily: I’ll rephrase that. Sounds very professional.

Paul: Okay. Six habits. Let’s go back to my bad phone call.

Emily: Before we rebuild that call, let me say something about confidence.

Paul: Please do. Many learners think confidence comes first, and then good communication.

Emily: But often it works the other way. Good habits come first, and confidence follows.

Paul: Every time you stay calm and get your point across, your brain remembers it.

Emily: And the next difficult conversation feels a little less frightening.

Paul: Small successes build a strong personality, one conversation at a time.

Emily: You do not need to become a different person. You need a better routine.

Paul: A routine for your breathing, your pace, and your attention.

Emily: That is a very practical idea. And anyone can do it, at any level.

Emily: Yes. Let’s rebuild it one habit at a time.

Paul: Tuesday, ten o’clock. The video call starts.

Emily: Before you speak, you slow down. And you say, “Let me take this step by step.”

Paul: Then the client says, “Sorry, could you repeat that?” I feel the wind of stress.

Emily: And you let go of the wind. You tell yourself, “I can only choose my next sentence.”

Paul: Then I take a deep breath. And I say, “Hold on, let me gather my thoughts.”

Emily: Breathe first, then speak.

Paul: Breathe first, then speak. Yes. That is the one for the pocket.

Emily: The client is still a little upset. He says something sharp.

Paul: Yellow light. I say, “Before I answer, can I ask one question?”

Emily: Then you listen to one radio station only. His.

Paul: And I check, “If I understand correctly, you need the plan by Friday.”

Emily: And at the end, you say, “Thanks for your patience.”

Paul: That is a very different call.

Emily: It is. Same English. Same person. Totally different result.

Paul: Let’s say the best line from each habit, slowly. You repeat after us.

Emily: Habit one. “Let me take this step by step.”

Paul: Let me take this step by step.

Emily: Habit two. “I can only choose my next sentence.”

Paul: I can only choose my next sentence.

Emily: Habit three. “Hold on, let me gather my thoughts.”

Paul: Hold on, let me gather my thoughts.

Emily: Habit four. “Before I answer, can I ask one question?”

Paul: Before I answer, can I ask one question?

Emily: Habit five. “If I understand correctly…”

Paul: If I understand correctly.

Emily: Habit six. “Thanks for your patience.”

Paul: Thanks for your patience.

Emily: Very good. And one more time, the sentence for your pocket.

Paul: Breathe first, then speak.

Emily: Breathe first, then speak. Keep it close.

Paul: Okay, Emily. Now we have a quiz.

Emily: First, one short note about how to use this part of the episode.

Paul: If you are walking or driving, just listen and answer in your head.

Emily: If you are at home, pause the video and say your answers out loud.

Paul: Speaking out loud is the real exercise. Your mouth needs practice, not only your ears.

Emily: And you can play this section again tomorrow. Repetition builds natural communication.

Emily: Five situations. For each one, I ask a question.

Paul: Then there is a short pause. About three seconds. You answer in your head or out loud.

Emily: After the pause, Paul gives the answer and a phrase that fits.

Paul: Ready? Number one. A client talks very fast, and you cannot follow. Which habit helps?

Emily: Think about it. Slow down, let go, or listen to understand?

Paul: Three, two, one.

Emily: The best answer is listening to understand, and you can also slow the call down.

Paul: A good phrase is, “If I understand correctly, you need the file by noon.”

Emily: Nice. It shows you are listening, and it slows the pace.

Paul: Notice something. The phrase does two jobs at once.

Emily: It checks the facts, and it gives the other person a moment to breathe too.

Paul: A calm listener makes a calmer speaker. It works both ways.

Paul: Number two. Someone says, “Sorry, what?” for the second time. Which habit helps?

Emily: Think about it. Breathe, pause, or let go of judgment?

Paul: Three, two, one.

Emily: Take a deep breath. Do not talk faster. Slow down and simplify.

Paul: A good phrase is, “Let me put it simply,” or, “I’ll say it in a simpler way.”

Emily: That is the exact fix for my friend Paul and his Tuesday call.

Paul: Ha. Yes. If only I knew it last Tuesday.

Emily: You know it now. And that is what counts.

Paul: Thank you, Emily. Number three. You get a rude message in a group chat.

Emily: What do you do before you answer?

Paul: Three, two, one.

Emily: Yellow light. Pause, breathe, and do not press send.

Paul: A phrase that fits is, “Thank you for telling me. Can we talk about it tomorrow?”

Emily: Or in a meeting, “Let’s pause there for a moment.”

Paul: One more thing about this one. The shorter your reply, the safer it is.

Emily: Right. When you are upset, long messages turn into long problems.

Paul: Number four. You are in a meeting with six people, and everyone talks at once.

Emily: Which habit helps you stay steady?

Paul: Three, two, one.

Emily: Let go of what you cannot control, and focus on your own sentence.

Paul: A good phrase is, “Let’s focus on what we can change.”

Emily: Then you add, “Hold on, let me gather my thoughts,” before your point.

Paul: And do not forget the breath. In, three seconds. Out, five seconds.

Emily: Even under the table, where nobody can see it.

Paul: Number five. You must speak in front of strangers, and your English feels small.

Emily: Which habit helps?

Paul: Three, two, one.

Emily: Stop worrying about being judged. Remember the café, where everyone is busy.

Paul: A phrase is, “Thanks for your patience.”

Emily: And if you lose your words, say, “Let me try that again.”

Paul: Nobody in the room will remember a small mistake. They will remember how calm you looked.

Emily: That is the whole idea of coming across well.

Paul: Good. Five situations, and six habits are already helping.

Emily: Now let’s hear them in a real conversation. A short one.

Paul: Imagine it is an online meeting. I am Paul, and Emily plays a client.

Emily: I am not a happy client. I have a hard question.

Paul: Okay. Let’s begin. Good morning, Ms. Carter. Thanks for joining us.

Emily: Good morning. Honestly, I am worried. The project is late, and nobody told me.

Paul: Hold on, let me gather my thoughts. Okay. Here’s what I mean. I understand why you are worried.

Emily: Then why is it late? I need a clear answer, not a long story.

Paul: Before I answer, can I ask one question? Is the main problem the date, or the missing update?

Emily: Both, but the missing update is worse. I heard nothing for two weeks.

Paul: So what you’re saying is, you wanted news earlier. Is that right?

Emily: Yes. That is exactly it. And now I am stressed out about the new schedule.

Paul: Let me take this step by step. First, the work is almost finished. Second, we need three more days.

Emily: Three more days? Last time you said it would be ready today.

Paul: That is true, and that is not something I can change. Let’s focus on what we can change.

Emily: And what is that?

Paul: We can send you a short update every morning. I’ll rephrase that. One email, five lines, every day.

Emily: Hmm. That would help. But I still do not like the delay.

Paul: I understand, and that’s fair. Thanks for your patience.

Emily: Okay. Thank you for staying calm with me. Send the first email tomorrow.

Paul: I will. In other words, no more silence. You will hear from us every morning at nine.

Emily: Good. Now, the meeting is over. How did Paul do?

Paul: Ha. Be honest.

Emily: I think you came across as calm and steady. And you got your point across.

Paul: And I used all six habits, and a few phrases from this episode.

Emily: You did. Notice, he did not use every phrase at once. One at a time, at the right moment.

Paul: Exactly. You do not need all of them. You need the right one at the right time.

Emily: Let me point out the small things Paul did. First, he did not rush his answers.

Paul: I paused after every idea. A small bus stop each time.

Emily: Second, he checked what I meant before he defended himself.

Paul: That was the radio station. I turned off all the other stations.

Emily: Third, he never said, “Sorry for my English.” He said, “Thanks for your patience.”

Paul: And that one small change made me feel much taller.

Emily: Because you were thanking, not apologizing.

Paul: Right. Try it this week, and watch how the room reacts.

Emily: Now it is your turn. We have two rounds of role play.

Paul: In round one, you are Paul. Emily will ask a difficult question.

Emily: After my question, there is a pause of about three seconds. You answer out loud.

Paul: Then I give an example answer. Any good answer is fine.

Emily: Round one. You are on a call. Your manager says, “I did not understand your plan. Can you explain it?”

Paul: Three, two, one.

Paul: For example, “Of course. Let me take this step by step. First, we need a budget.”

Emily: Another example, “Let me put it simply. We need two more weeks, and here is why.”

Paul: Did you take a breath first? Breathe first, then speak.

Emily: Now round two. A different situation. You are at a dinner with new friends.

Paul: Someone asks, “Why did you start learning English? Tell me more.”

Emily: And you feel nervous. Everyone looks at you. Remember the café.

Paul: Three, two, one.

Emily: For example, “Good question. Hold on, let me gather my thoughts. I started because I want to travel.”

Paul: Or, “In other words, English helps me talk to more people. Thanks for your patience.”

Emily: Very good. Notice that both answers are short, and both are steady.

Paul: Let me add a small tip about the dinner answer. Do not try to say everything.

Emily: One reason is enough. I started because I want to travel.

Paul: People at dinner do not need your life story. They need one clear idea.

Emily: And then you can ask them a question back, which gives you a rest.

Paul: For example, “And you? Why did you start?” Easy, friendly, and calm.

Emily: That is a very good move. Try it in your next real conversation.

Paul: Now let’s practice the five phrases that I think are the strongest.

Emily: Say each one after us, slowly. First, “Let me take this step by step.”

Paul: Let me take this step by step.

Emily: Second, “Hold on, let me gather my thoughts.”

Paul: Hold on, let me gather my thoughts.

Emily: Third, “If I understand correctly…”

Paul: If I understand correctly.

Emily: Fourth, “In other words…”

Paul: In other words.

Emily: Fifth, “Thanks for your patience.”

Paul: Thanks for your patience.

Emily: Wonderful. If you can say these five phrases smoothly, you are ready.

Paul: And do not worry if you cannot say them smoothly today.

Emily: Speak slowly first. Smooth comes later, after a few days.

Paul: Many learners try to be fast before they are clear. Be clear first.

Emily: Clear first, fast later. Maybe never fast. And that is fine.

Paul: And you can say them again later. Maybe in the shower, or on a walk.

Emily: Okay. We are almost at the end of the episode.

Paul: So what is your task for today?

Emily: Today, try one thing. One small thing. Only one.

Paul: Before your first answer in a real conversation, take one breath.

Emily: That is all. One breath before the first answer.

Paul: It can be a call, a chat, or a small talk with a neighbor.

Emily: And if you want, say the sentence in your head. Breathe first, then speak.

Paul: Breathe first, then speak. That is the line to take home.

Emily: Let’s go back over the six habits, very quickly.

Paul: One. Slow down, because words need a bus stop.

Emily: Two. Let go of what you cannot control, and hold the string of your kite.

Paul: Three. Take a deep breath, because a breath is a comma for your voice.

Emily: Four. Pause before you answer, like a yellow light.

Paul: Five. Listen to understand, and choose one radio station.

Emily: Six. Stop worrying about being judged, because the café is busy with its own phones.

Paul: And remember the glass of muddy water.

Emily: When it is still, everyone can see the idea.

Paul: Now we have a question for you, in the comments.

Emily: Which habit is number one for you this week? And which phrase will you use tomorrow?

Paul: Write it in the comments. We read them, and we love your answers.

Emily: And if you are not sure, try a small phrase first, like “Let me put it simply.”

Paul: Next episode, we will keep building your confidence in real English.

Emily: If this episode helped you, please subscribe, so you do not miss it.

Paul: Thank you for spending this podcast with us, and thank you for staying calm.

Emily: One last thought before we say goodbye. A podcast cannot change your life in one day.

Paul: But six small habits, repeated for a few weeks, can change your conversations.

Emily: So be patient with yourself, and give every habit a fair chance.

Emily: Take care, and remember, breathe first, then speak.

Paul: See you in the next episode.